It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about YOUR baby name.
We personally did not discuss any name with anyone until our baby arrived & even then we took 6 days to name her. We needed to get to know her & her personality. When we DID name our daughter my mother in law hated the name to the point where she said 'I cannot bring myself to say it or tell people.' My husband said; 'That's okay, we feel like that about YOUR name too!' I love my husband. Keep your cards close to your chest. Don't let anyone's reaction spoil a name you love.
One night I went through 4000 names (not kidding, I just kept going from the top 100 names) and my husband didn't like any of them. We had a tough time but I finally convinced him to pick something! ha! I agree though. It doesn't matter what others think - just know that you'll get some funny faces but as long as you love it that's what matters most! :)
I threw out lists and lists of names for weeks and weeks. Husband vito every single one. The name we ultimately chose for our son was the one he didn't vito. I suggested it one day and he thought about it and considered it for days and days....until eventually we found ourselves just referring to our son by that name already. And that's when we knew he could be named nothing else. It's like falling in love....when you know, you know.
my advice --- don't share the 'pending' names with anyone. Everyone has an opinion but none of them matters. This decision is between you and your husband. Everyone will know the name when she is born AND everyone will love her regardless of her name. There are some things that are not necessary to share with everyone, including your close family and friends.
We learned to not tell anyone the name of our baby till he arrived. Then when you introduce him, they can't say anything because it is already his name.
If you are going with a unique name, I have one piece of general advice. Make sure it is easy to say and spell. I've been tortured all of my life with people butchering my name and have decided not to do that to my kiddos.
I do not have children but a good friend and her husband chose not to use a name they picked out because of feedback like that and she regrets it. I agree with everyone else - do what you want! :)
Like a previous poster, we did not discuss baby boy/ girl names with anyone other than ourselves. I knew we wouldn't make everyone happy and it surely wasn't about everyone. I agree that baby naming is hard though. We finally had ours picked out just before they came. And I remember laying in recovery after birth with my husband going over the final choice of my 2nd born. It was funny to me that we were in that setting discussing names. I know folks wait to get to know their child for a few days, but I didn't need to find that connection. I've found with both of my boys that they have grown into their names just perfectly. Yours will, too!
when i first told my MIL that i was naming my first born Stella, she replied with 'well i will love her no matter what her name is.' and lemme tell ya, saying that to a 8 month pregnant chick isn't the best idea. but we held strong and named her that anyways. because WE loved it. she is now almost three and boy oh boy is she a Stella. spunky wild child. she fits her name to a T.
We knew that our latest baby's name would not go over well with the family so we didn't tell until after she was born. When we called to let my MIL know she was here we got a very awkward "OHhhh...kay." at the name. We still laugh about it. And everyone loves the name now.
i'm with everyone else...you're better off keeping your name choices to yourself because everyone has an opinion...and will share it ;) if you like the name, that's all that matters. i will say that, for me, my children's names weren't "final" until i saw them. i was convinced i was naming my daughter (my 3rd child) phoebe right up until i took my first look at her and she clearly wasn't a "phoebe" at all. she was, without a doubt, an emma. (yes, it's a very popular name, but we love it...again, if you like it, who cares). good luck!
Each of our children's names were our secret and only when my husband announced the arrival of our child to our family in the hospital waiting room did he also introduce their name. Everyone was so happy about the birth that the happiness carried over to their names as well. We've never heard/seen a negative reaction from anyone regarding our children's names....and they are not the norm.
We sorta had the same thing happen recently, but ultimately we decided to go with it. It just spoke to us and we feel will be fitting of our little girl, Ruby Grey. :)
I've pretty low key kids' names but mostly b/c my last name is a little tricky - onomatopoeia an all. I will say this - the funniest SNL skit is Nicolas Cage vetoing names b/c he didn't want his kid to be teased.
I just named my kids whatever I wanted.. lol. First is Blake Robert Juergen (all family names) and the second is Cole Richard Isaac (again, family names). If either were a girl, it would have been Annika Elise Christina or Kassia Mae Elizabeth.
DON't TELL ANYONE (else!) We never shared our baby names before the baby arrives. After painstakingly picking a name, we didn't care what others thought of it. After the baby is born, people are much less likely to criticize. That said, my MIL hates my daughters name (and told us so after we named her!), and still calls her a nickname! (btw, the name is Isabelle, not like Apple, or something)
It took me until my third pregnancy to finally stop telling everyone our baby names (2nd pregnancy was Milo; a name people tend to either love or hate, and they'll tell you about it either way). And it turned out to be the only time we picked a name my mother approved of (August/Gus). Naming a 4th boy now, which is not a task for the fainthearted. We probably won't decide for sure until we see him.
We learned that it is best not to tell anyone what names are on your baby list because you will alway find someone who has a problem with the name or doesn't like it. And really, it only matters if the two of you are happy with it. If you give them your ideas, everyone will give you their opinions. But if you wait and say, look at this beautiful baby, who's name is ---, then all anyone will focus on is the baby. :)
I have learned not to share baby names, someone always has something negative to say. But once the baby is here no one says anything bad about the name because they see that sweet baby and can't think of anything negative to say.
You and your husband pick and STICK with the name you like. It is one of the first joys of parenthood choosing your Baby's name. Trust me, once that baby is born and named, people say .... " Oh I couldn't imagine he/she named anything else "
We had a list of six girl's names for months, went to hospital with three, and took over 24 hours after we met our daughter to choose just one. Its so hard! We also didn't share with anyone as we didn't want them influencing our final decision. Once the name is attached to a beautiful baby, everyone will like it. Don't listen to them!
I always wanted my child's name to be pretty unique but with my first children I was too scared of other people's opinion's ( I was a people pleaser). I realized this with my first child, when even a perfectly acceptable name like 'Laura' was dismissed by one girl.I left her house feeling so bad that I wanted to cry~ hormones maybe. I chose Nicola Alice, in the end even though I really wanted 'Alice' it was not a popular name in the 80's. Anyway, fast forward twenty years and a second marriage. My three boys are called, 'Cairo' 'Milano' and 'Rio'. It caused such a riot when Cairo was born in 2005, but by then , I didn't care. I'm older and wiser and it bounces off. I even allowed myself a moment of smugness when one of my detractors called me to tell me that Lady Gaga's godchild was also named Cairo! Ask Oprah, or Madonna if their unique name helped or hindered them. I also gave my boys two very sensible middle names each so they could change them later if it was a problem. Don't worry what anyone else says. It's your baby who's going to make a mark in the world. I'm sure you'll pick to perfect name, Sally xx
It's YOUR baby so YOU get to pick the name. I say don't worry about those naysayers (that is, unless they can provide reasonable evidence that the suggested name will ruin your child's life ;).
How rude are some people! After publicly musing some names when expecting our son and getting negative reactions to ones that we probably wouldn't have used anyway we stayed quiet on the subject until visitors arrived the day after he was born!
Like many others, we do not share the names we have chosen for our children before they are born. Frankly, everyone has an opinion and I really didn't want ti hear it! We chose family names which are not trendy, fashionable, or common and love them.
Someone told me never to share the name of the baby because you might doubt yourself with people's reactions. Once people can SEE the baby and know the name, their minds can fit it better to the baby and they will feel better about it.
I guess a name attached to a person sounds better than a name floating around in the air?
Just pick one you guys feel is right and keep it a secret!
When pregnant with my second, I happened to say that I loved the name Clementine and boy did I get an earful from a large party of people (half of which I barely knew). Everyone broke out in a chorus of "Oh My Darlin'". I'm a bit rebellious, so when our daughter was born we named her Laela Clementine. And I can't tell you how many people have complimented us on her name now. Even the former nay-sayers have converted.
Ultimately it's your decision. You can't please everyone and probably shouldn't anyway. Besides, it's hard to find that ONE name that you BOTH like... so run with it!
When we were trying to conceive (no luck), we had two names picked out, both that were a little different, but we decided we would not tell anyone. It is your business what you call your baby! :) xo Terri
I've never named a baby but my sister-in-law swears by the rule of not telling anyone the name ahead of time. As others have mentioned, what other people think doesn't matter, so go with the name you love and keep it secret!
I was just looking at my oldest's baby book yesterday. Had he been a girl he would have been named Audry Renee. Audry - turns out we later had a super mean lady at church with that name. Renee was my mother-in-law and you have heard mil stories so that whole name would have ended badly. Our son's first name is John and that was chosen for us. My husband is Matthew, his brother Mark, his nephew Luke so they said they saved "John" for us. Not a name I have ever liked but I do love JFK. You should name your child what you like regardless and not be forced by others.
Pick a name that works for you and your husband. You will always find someone that doesn't like your name for one reason or another. My son's name is a family name - Frank Lee. Don't go saying it too fast - you may say a line from Gone With the Wind. : ) People didn't like the name. It was old and boring...blah blah blah. Well he is named after my father in law, the greatest man that I had the pleasure of knowing. We miss him every day of our lives. The name is special to me and my husband. At the end of the day, we were happy with the name and we took home a little Frank Lee. Don't worry about others, it is YOUR name for Your baby.
My name is spelt Deanna and at first glance, most people call me DE-anna. But that's not how I pronounce it, it's DEE-nah. For my entire life, I've answered to two names and I've learned to just go with the flow. At one point my Mom told me to pull an N out (a nun in HS refused to pronounce it correctly on principle and it drove my Mom crazy!) but I chose not to do so. This is the name my parents gave me, spelling and all, and it was their first gift to me. I cherish it. It's MY name.
Although I admit, when I have kids, you bet your a$$, they will have clear, straightforward names/spelling!
Have a wonderful holiday and birthday for your little girl!
Baby name picking was extremely hard for us as well. That's the name they will live with for the rest of their lives. I too, never shared my name picking. It's your baby, you name that child what you and your hubby see fit. For our first born, he was 2 1/2 months early. We weren't expecting a baby be born when I went to emerg to figure out my lower back pain. So, the moment he was born we looked at eachother and the name hubby really wanted, and I hated just didn't suit him. We both said Spencer, and that's what we named him. He is so much a Spencer. Our second born, we were alittle more prepared in the name department "LOL". We named him Cody, and it too suits him.
Good luck in the name picking department, and remember this is your baby, and your the one giving birth to it and deserve to name that bundle of joy you and your man have created.
I don't have any children yet so haven't named any babies but, like other commenters, I like the idea of keeping it to yourself going forward. Baby Limestone will be a wonderful woman no matter what so I say go forth with the name you and the Mr. love. Can't wait to hear what it is when the time comes, maybe something beginning with "A" (just musing based on the picture in this post)?
Seriously, if you both agree on a name, call it a day! That's the hardest part! Screw everyone else. My BFF and mother both pooh-poohed our baby's name, and finally I figured out that they had just had bad experiences with people with his name...it had nothing to do with the name, and it had even less to do with the baby! Once he arrived, no one said a word. It's easy to thumbs down a name. It's impossible to thumbs down a baby.
We picked names out and then didn't go with that name when the baby arrived so we caused all sorts of "discussion" and even received gifts with that name on it. Oops. ;) Ultimately it is your child and not theirs. My daughter's name is Avery and my mom's first comment was "You mean Avery like the Stapler and office supplies?" Yes mother, like the stapler. We named our daughter after a stapler. How ridiculous was that discussion.
We never shared our babies' names until after they were born and named. We chose the names we liked and didn't want any ones opinions, positive or negative. My youngest daughter is named "Ionie" (like Ione Skye)...after she was born and we told every one her name my sister said "did that name just pop into your head, or did you have time to sit with it for awhile?" Sisters, gotta love em! A couple days later we were out and a very pregnant woman asked me my daughter's name, I told her "Ionie" and she said, "Oh, I love that name, I may have to add it to my list" The next time someone asked me her name I lied and said it was "Sarah" ;)
I agree that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of your baby's name. But it may matter to the little one itself someday.
Saying that I also agree that parents should really think about the names they call their little ones. Any name that causes a child to be teased throughout life should be tossed out of the running. Now this is just my humble opinion. In my senior year of high school I watched another senior *boy* student sit on the school bus with tears coursing down his cheeks from once again being teased about his name. He wiped the tears stood up and left the bus. I hurt so for him. Kids can be cruel. His name was Tex and you can imagine where the boys went with that. I'd spare that for any child I was naming.
I'm heading close to 60 now and am about to be O'Ma for the first time. I have to say i'm worried about the name my darlings are thinking of for our grand. I pray they don't make the baby sound old before its time or anything that will cause the sweet thing to be teased. One can only hope and pray.
I have named 6 children...and my youngest's name is what EVERYONE hated (at first). I stuck to it....and now all the negative people say the name fits him to a T. Mama ALWAYS knows best! His name is Gunnar by the way :)
It was hard for my husband and I to find a name that we agreed on, we finally found one and it was my doctor who made us rethink it. Her comment was pretty harmless, just that she had delivered quite a few babies named that recently. We just didn't want our son to have the same name as 5 other kids in his class when he was in kindergarten so we changed our names to something that wasn't quite to popular.
I agree with Elise it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks. When that baby is born they take on their names. My Youngest name is Makai and my husband and alot of people didn't really like it but I did and I was sticking with it. I couldn't imagine him having any other name.
I love using family names so before we were even married I knew what my son's name would be: Charles Joel after his dad & grandad.
So my dh goes by Charlie, grandpa goes by Joe & my son goes by Joel. It was never a problem for me, I loved both names very much but my son hated it when he reached about middle school. Always having to explain who he was because legal forms go by the 1st name.
As an adult he has come around & decided it's kind of fun. One of his 1st jobs right out of high school, he showed up for work & the supervisor said, 'I don't have you down but this guy Charles didn't show up so you can take his place.' It's been a fun story.
Now he works at the same company as his dad. That's really been fun when people realize they're related. Right after he was hired we got a call from our health insurance asking for Charles ...... I said which one, they said the one that works at M..... Then I said they both work there. That was pretty funny but we do have to be careful that things are clear on everything, distinguishing them by their birthdays. On top of that, there's another employee with the same 1st & last name as them. The pitfalls of a common name I guess.
I never really settled on a girls' name though I was mixing a combination of family names there too.
My only advice is to consider your child's perspective as much as you can. You can't choose a name that won't get some teasing from somewhere. In our case, as my son grew & I shared how much his name meant to me, he was more accepting of it. So I'd go with a name that you & your husband love, that has meaning to you & not worry about everyone else.
I'm so excited for you!!!Being a mom is the such a wonderful thing.
I originallly wanted to name our daughter after my mom's middle name. Until she told me she'd always hated her name! So plan "B." We had a hard time choosing until my husband suggested I write various combinations out. When I wrote my daughter's full name out, it brought tears to my eyes. The name just looked so pretty. My husband agreed and that was it!
After 11 years of no birth control and 7 years of actively trying and succeeding at IVF on our first go around, there was no other choice! : Victoria! Victory acheived! Perfect name then and now, as she is our beautiful 21 year old "baby"! and she is sooooo her name. We did wait until our amnio until we knew she was a "she , and that was a good thing- because if he was a he, we didn't like Victor enough. Your baby/your dreams for them/your name! but I do believe some babies just are NOT the personality of the name you choose before they are actually here, so always have a back up idea, but mostly, just go with your gut. If your husband's name was &$(%&#(#) and your name was ($&#@!!$, you would have both loved each other just the same! This is such a wonderful time of your life right now and it only gets better- enjoy every little part of it! It is part of a process of becoming parents and falling in love with her. God bless you all 3 !
I agree with toya aboya - - don't tell anyone! Do you realize how many times you will call out your child's name - you both better love it. Who cares what aunt Ema thinks, she had her time, now it's yours.
the important thing is that you and your husband like the name - that is no easy accomplishment! with our first, my husband and i never had one productive conversation about names - we were so far apart in what we liked and each of us practically hated everything the other liked that it was nearly impossible to find middle ground. we ended up choosing a name that neither of us would have picked had it been up to either of us alone, but that we both liked enough to use. and it suits our son perfectly - i now can't imagine him being named anything else. we're now expecting our second, and we're in no better shape this time. all that is to say, the fact that you AND your hubs both like the same name is a gift, and is enough. plus, even if people seem critical at first, that just can't last - whatever name you choose will end up suiting your child, and it will just naturally grow on people (or they will at least become accustomed to it). don't let others' initial reactions take away a name you both like.
We were on the fence with names up until we were leaving the hospital with the baby!! Even after we settled on Luca, I wavered. We never told any family, but I did tell my best friend just in case I was missing something.
a girl at work told me that her friend announced that they had a little girl and her name was Ashley Madison. Um...after a few brave souls told her that there was a certain website called that, she changed the name. haha
So if you don't want to tell anyone beforehand, do give it a quick google :-)
With my second pregnancy, my husband and I decided that if it was a girl she would be Katherine...a name I love because it is biblical, strong, and beautiful. My MIL always said "Yuck" to the idea whenever she inquired about name possibilities. I ended up with a wonderful son, instead.
We named our first daughter McDaniel which is my mother's maiden name. We told no one beforehand so no one could crush our excitement. With our 2nd baby, we agreed on a boy's name but not the girls name. I wanted Ruby after my great-grandmother. My husband did not. But he went away on a conference and came back with a necklace with an R on it. He gave it to me and said Ruby would be fine if we had a girl. So sweet! He changed his mind 2 days later. So now we have a McDaniel and an Eleanor.
Pick the name that speaks to you, not your friends and family! And DO NOT discuss with anyone until after the baby is born. Then simply introduce your new baby with his/her new name - everyone will love it once they fall in love with your little bundle of joy! And if not, well shame on them for telling you.
I love my daughters names. I picked them both out.. The second one my husband didn't care for but when she was born he said, "Go ahead" you know what you want to name her. I didn't care what anyone thought.. I shouted the names from the roof tops... My (Maranda and Brenna)...
I have a stuffed bear on my loveseat named Thor Xerxes. Those were actual names in the baby book when I was pregnant with my now-21 year old. Better the bear than my baby (named Andrew Dolan ) My niece has three children, all with unusual/unpopular names. When she was pregnant with her 3rd and last she let the family know that the baby was going to be called "Greta Olive". By far, NOT my favorite. I thought it was a horrible name. I couldn't believe they would saddle my Great niece with such an 'old' name. Well all, I have to say is 'shame on me'. Greta is an absolute doll and her name fits her. Moral of the story, as many of your readers have voiced, your baby, your choice. Choose what fits your family and keep the name to yourself. They'll get used to it and come to love it AND the baby! (Greta's older brothers, Gunnar & Sawyer, and cousin, Romeo are the BEST grand nephew's I could ask for. Can't wait to find out what Romeo's soon-to-be baby sibling is to be named)
We had a similar experience with our first. For our second girl we didn't tell too many people. I really didn't want to hear the unenthusiastic "oh's". Seriously, lie to me if you don't like it. People just don't think sometimes. Regardless, it only matters if you like it.
I guess my response is probably the same as everyone else. To me, your baby's name is a reflection of you and your hubby so of course most people will have a problem with it and tell you that so you would consider changing it(probably to another name they don't like). It's hard to both agree on a name ( we are picking out our third). By the time you eliminate all the names of people you didn't care for throughout life you feel there is nothing left! :) I also felt naming our first two was that the name came to us. Once we heard it, tossed it out a coup,e times, we knew that was it, it was meant to be. We didn't share with anyone because we didn't want to hear or see their reaction. Like most commenters, if you tell people the name after it is born, they won't comment because its carved in stone and they are too busy eyeing up the new beauty anyway. People might scoff in the beginning but after a very short time, you baby's name is that and no one could picture her being anything else. (Gabriel, Eli, Luke, Mia, Nyla, Orrick, Anna, Calliah, Naomi, Quinn are just a few running in our family)
Made the mistake of telling my name for a boy way before I was married or pregnant (family names) only to have SIL take it. SIgh. Many years later pregnant and hubs had carte blanche to name daughter (because he really wanted a daughter) and he told both families. Big negative reaction even though name was lovely (Caitlin Alexandra), he changed name and kept quiet until daughter born. Vetoed all nicknames except one and every one grew to like it. Second pregnancy (knew it was boy) and I had carte blanche for boy's names. Learned from first time and told no one til baby was born. Go with the name you like; you will regret it if you don't. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Both my children love how their names came to be. Just make sure the initials don't spell something they will regret would be my only advise.
I personally have an unusual name, more common now, but I know my mom went through a lot of issues in naming me. Roxanne was in the mix, but my grandfather said she couldn't name me after a prostitute... :) and she actually changed my name multiple times on the birth certificate, from Ryan Renee, to Renee Ryan, even letting the nurse typing up the birth certificate sway her. Finally she had enough of everyone's opinion and named me Ryan Renee. The nurse wasn't so kind, on the third certificate she wrote I was male and I now have an amendment attached to my birth certificate (thanks rude lady). But that is neither here, nor there. My mom had a purpose when she picked a more prominently male name, she saw a woman that was strong and savvy. I really like my name, even if she had me going by Renee for a part of my school life because I was constantly getting in trouble for defending myself. :( Life is cruel, but sometimes a name is a name. You are the one saying it the most and if you like it, don't let anyone make you second guess yourself!!
Go with whatever name YOU like. Although, I suggest holding off on totally choosing until you meet your baby. Both of my girls' names were chosen with family history in mind. My younger daughter is named Ila Maeve and people were not really fans of either of her names. But, I love them both and she is totally an "Ila" :) My friend went with the name her hubby liked and when her daughter was 6 months old she legally changed it to the name SHE had originally wanted because her baby just didn't *fit* with the name they'd chosen. She totally suits her new name. Baby naming IS hard work :) Good luck.
I don't have any of my own but as a former teacher I have two pet peeves:
1)strange spellings that make a name difficult to pronounce 2)names that sound like something else (especially the combo of first/middle names) like Drew Lee. That one is just mean!
Either way, I say pick the name you both love, she is your baby. The longer people think about her name after she is born the more they will realize they like it.
When I was pregnant the best naming advice was from a woman who's daughter has an awesome name, she applied a simple test "Does the name sound right as a high court ( in your case Supreme court) judge, a rock star and shouted in full across a school playground?" This simple test helped us immensely in selecting our daughters name. We only told the grannies our choice, my mum said 'that's weird, that's what you called all your dolls when you were four (I still cannot recall this!) and his mum said "That was your great-great- grandmother's name... she was a total bitch" (?!).
In the words of Anthony Hopkins in "Legends of the Fall"...Screw 'em! It's your baby & her name. Not theirs. Who cares what they think. People were put off at first when we told them we were giving our daughter a boy name. Now they can't picture her as anything other than Aidan.
I shared with family about my two name options, though I was pretty set on "Gabriella" -- of course, that invited a lot of comments on how horrible it would be to give a child the nickname "Gabby" in a family of chatterboxes... In the end, they all ended up loving her name and even use the "horrible" nickname themselves. My much-anticipated second daughter's name has caused more contestation -- Anastasia -- due to the Fifty Shades of Grey character; but for me, the meaning and personal love/relevance outweighs all of that. HOLD STRONG!
Hi! My name is Anastasia. Everyone calls me Natassa. It means the one who is resurecting in Greek (not like a zombie or anything). Here in Greece we mainly give baby names from our parents. My sisters name is Antigone, you know, the one from Homer's poem. It means "opposed to motherhood", "in place of a mother". It may also mean "against men" since men were dominant in the Ancient Greek family structure, and Antigone clearly defied masculine authority, or "anti-generative", from the root gonē, "that which generates" (related: gonos, "-gony"; seed, semen). You know, there is a whole philosophy around baby-naming. What does the name of your baby mean? If you haven't searched it already, it should help you deside. Also here in Greece, we consider the Saints that we take the name from(we are Christian Orthodox). Like, Saint Anastasia was called Farmacolitria, which means healer of poisons.
My advice is stop sharing it with anyone. No one will tell you they don't like your baby's name AFTER she's actually here and you will love it which is all that matters. I found that sharing the name ideas beforehand just confused and frustrated me because everyone has an opinion.
I told my grandma what we wanted to name our baby if it was a girl, My husband really liked it. She was always so classy, supportive, and loving, except that day when she stuck out her tongue and gagged. I thought it was a coincidence but it wasn't. I never thought perhaps because we picked an older name she might have known someone she didn't like with that name. We had a boy so crisis averted but then we had a girl used the name and she never said a word or made a face again. Sometimes you have to just get used to the idea.
I have 2 stories. First My mother wanted a name that you couldn't shorten and she picked Hazel but THANKFULLY my grandmother with a sense of humour added Hazelnut, that put an end to that. I became Heather instead - Thanks Gran! When trying to pick a name for our third daughter we had trouble, going through dozens of names that we couldn't agree on until her dad suggested one that I didn't like but didn't hate, Alyssa, days before she was born I overheard him say he liked Rebecca but I didn't - hang on I liked Rebecca, but now he couldn't be swayed from the less liked Alyssa - sigh. However on the day of her birth I couldn't be bothered arguing with him over it and when he announced Girl and Alyssa ( Grannies to the rescue again!) he was met with a chorus of Rebeccas.... and it is perfect!
PS my two cents -- neither the baby nor the name isn't YOURS it's their own and they have to live with it. A name "just to be different" just may not be the right thing to do for them. That being said plenty of people with odd names have done just fine.
I planned to name my son Milo, then was ridiculed by my entire family and ended up changing the name. I ended up with 2 alternate boy names and decided on "the one" after he was born. I truly love his name, but I do regret that I let other people's opinions steer me away from the first name that was in my heart.
Naming a child for life is a huge responsibility. I like names that can mature with the child. I want to picture her as an 80-year-old grandma who is called Nana "x" and it fits. My girls are Marina and Marcella. We have all M names for our kids (boy too) because we didn't want them to feel singled out (weird parental guilt trip). While your name may not be conventional, if you both love it and are in agreement about the name, then that is the name. Of course, you will want to look at your child and see if it "fits." Good luck.
Conventional wisdom (and most do the comments here) says its your baby, so pick out the name you love and who cares what others think. However, as someone pointed out above, this won't belong to you, but to your child. If EVERYONE dislikes the name, it could just be that you've picked out a name your child will not thank you for.
We had decided to name our 2nd baby (destined to be an only girl) Shannon Arrie, but a few hours after she was born I looked at her and knew without a doubt her name was Moira Ann. So I filled out the paperwork and we were good to go except my husband had left the hospital and told everyone the first name. He now agrees that her name is perfect for her but he held the paperwork hostage when our next two babies were born!! She is a gorgeous 17 year old today and her name is perfect for her!
I agree with many of the other commenters…Don't share the name with anyone…We actually always had two names picked out for each sex…very hard to do. When we met our little one…we always knew which one of the two names we had picked out for them suited them better. In our first case we had two girls names ready for our daughter ( we didn't know whether it was a girl or boy) Willow and Bronwyn, she was born 9lb 7oz…she was no Willow…Bronwyn it was. When she was a baby it seemed to be such a huge name, when she was in kindergarden she told me she wished she was named Sarah…but now as a confident young woman her name is unique and she loves her name. Just like her parents always knew she would. So pick a name that will last for their life…don't share it until they are born and stick by it…people always come around to it.
Don't make the mistake of letting others make you feel like you should name your baby what THEY want. I wanted to name my daughter Olivia but so many people made a face at that name I acquiesced and I went with the name Kaitlin (really, is Olivia that odd of a name??) 18 years later her graduating class had 21 Kaitlin/Caitlin/Katelyn/Catelin's but not a single Olivia! The point being, I'm sure you're not naming your baby something off the wall (#hashtag?!?!) and names are like cars...tell anybody the model of car you're thinking of buying and they'll tell you 100 reasons why you shouldn't buy it. Naming your baby is an intimate and personal decision between the parents and while it's natural that you want approval from others for the decision you're making (cause let's face it...this is a lifelong decision you are making for someone else) be confident in your choice. Trust me, after naming 4 kids and now raising a grandson (named Rhett..lots of tongue tsking when that was announced), your name choice (if there are any objections) will be eclipsed by the joy a new baby brings. Congratulations on your new baby and enjoy your last few weeks before the arrival.
Nobody really cared for either name we picked out (we didn't know what we were having). But we stuck to it. In the end, the people that matter most will love your child. And frankly, it's rude to be telling someone you don't like the name of your future child.
Keep it to yourself! No reason to share with friends, family, the world, because people will only want to steer you one way or the other.
My mom didn't have a name picked out for me until she was watching an episode of the TV show Soap. My grandfather commented on how pretty Corinne was on the show, and my mom said she just KNEW that had to be my name! My original middle name was Renee, but she changed that when I was three days old because my father thought she chose that after his grandmother. That wasn't why she picked the name, and she didn't want that association with it, so she picked out something that no one else in any of the families had!
I agree with some of the other comments - don't share the name until after the birth. We did this for both of our boys, and found that it was then not an open discussion. The boys were named, we had decided, and all our family and friends had to do was welcome our bundle of joy into the world.
People can be very opinionated and vocal - at the end of the day, this is the name you will say hundreds of times throughout each day (both in joy, laughter, exasperation and frustration!), and will forever join your family tree to be reflected upon by future generations in your family.
When we named our Daughter, London Paisley, most everyone didn't like it. Mostly they didn't like Paisley, but some didn't like London either. We decided we didn't care because we loved it so much. And now that she is a spunky 4 year old, everyone gushes at how cute it is when we tell them her name.
Big fan of your blog! We chose not to find out the sex of both our children (however, in my heart of hearts, I new I was destined for boys). In the beginning we would share the names we were thinking about using, however, some of our friends and family were not keen on them. In the end we stopped sharing, and announced their names shortly after the boys were born. It was too late for them to comment, and the names we picked suited their little faces. The meaning of the names are also important to us, here are my boys meanings... King (older boy) Companion (younger boy). Best of luck :)
Go with what you like. As a mother in law to 3 great girls, I've tried to learn to keep my opinions to my self and just enthusiastically tell them and their husbands "great job", 'like your choice". You are the ones who will say/call that name millions of times so go with what you love.
Aww, my brother is named Milo. We were born in the early 80s & I've never actually met anyone else with that name here in the US (even though me & my other brother have extremely common names). I had no idea people hate his name! :(
I remember being at a gathering when I was about 6 months pregnant and at one stage during the evening a largish group around the table started discussing what would make a good name for our baby. I just went quiet and felt very uncomfortable. My advice is don't discuss it with anyone... it's important that you and your partner are happy ... nobody else.
This would be the advice coming from a grandmother. Don't ask for suggestions unless you really want them. Choose your name and unless you feel the need for it to be a huge secret, let people know and tell them how much you love the name and why you chose it and tell them that you hope they will grow to love it and see that it is right fit for your little girl. In the end, all the controversy in the world doesn't matter about who likes the name, once that beautiful baby girl arrives, everyone falls in love with her. Keep in mind, your family and friends are invaluable as you begin your role as a mother so if they disagree, be kind and ask them to just be happy for you! Rise above all the pettiness that might come up over names, and be the loving, kind person you want her to grow up to be.
I don't have kids... but when my brother was born, he was named Owen Samuel. A couple weeks later, it still wasn't sticking. He just didn't look like an Owen! So, my parents drove around all day (back when gas was cheaper...) throwing out every name they could think of. They finally came up with Tyler Scott.
It's funny how aware I am now of certain things (that I was oblivious to pre-baby)! Like reactions to baby names & such. When I was prego, we didn't feel the need to shroud Q's name in secrecy for a huge reveal YET we only told people if they asked specifically.....always w/ the disclaimer that it could be subject to change, ha! We also shouted it around the house a lot to get a feel for it. "Quinn Evie, I'm going to count to 3 & if you don't put Mommy's wine bottles back.......")
I am so considerate now to prego moms & am so careful to not put them on the spot when it comes to the name game. It's amazing how EVERYONE has an opinion. I am sure you don't need us to tell you this, but as long as you two love it & it fits baby girl once you lay eyes on her tiny little face, everyone else will come around. She's going to steal everyone's hearts no matter what her name is.
I'm currently 6 months preggo and we chose to not keep our little boy's name (Roarke) a secret. We have had a wide array of reactions...some loved it, some were puzzled by it. Even my mother had a lukewarm reaction. But now that everyone has gotten used to referring to him by his name, they all like it. If it's a particularly unique name, I think some people just need time to process it. Bottom line: my husband and I were both set on that being the name and we never wavered because WE loved it.
I always knew that if I had a girl, her name would be Jade... When I became pregnant, I told everyone, and she was called by her name from the moment we found out she was a girl. It's been over five years, and I still adore her name, and so does she! I had a few naysayers, but it did not faze me. We LOVE IT, and that is all that counts.
I wanted to name our little girl Elliott, however, my husband said we could not name our daughter the same name as our boy fat cat. For the 8 years prior I always told him this would be the name of our child - even though we had the cat - and he was in agreement... until it was real. Then it was no way! I still give him a hard time about this and he still tells me we can't name our kid after our cat. Whatever! We ended up going with Penelope and at 2 years old she is just the greatest. She even started calling herself Penny. We gave our parents the initials once we decided and then let them guess for the last several months. It was kind of hilarious having them come up with all the P & J names that they could.
If you and your husband like the name keep it. Once the baby is here people with get used to it and you will still be happy with your choice. When I named my oldest daughter "Sarah Pearl" after my much loved Grandmother my sister said "Why didn't you just name her "Wall Flower"? Nice huh? My neice didn't tell anyone either of the names she and her husband picked for their son and daughter until she had given birth. The names are Oliver and Virginia.
I don't have kids yet but I've heard horror stories of people changing their name because someone else didn't like what they picked out. You'll always have someone say, "I don't like that name because I once knew a person ..." and poof your lovely name is ruined for yourself because of someone else's misfortune. So I'd say if you and the hubs agree on it - then keep it to yourself because it's more precious that way and no one dares to tell you they don't like a name once a baby is born! :)
I love names. Our sons each have a name from both sides and our daughter was named a new name. Actually our son love her name and wanted us to name her - Amelia. pve
Don't tell anyone the name, and do whatever you like. My dad still doesn't like my brother's name, which they changed because the grandparents didn't like what they picked. My brother is 25.
My husband and I had a similar situation to your first comment by Elise. I was in the hospital holding my new baby boy, my mom called and I told her his name and there was dead silence on the line. She also said she did not want to tell anyone. Well, fast forward 16 1/2 years...his name suits him perfectly - and my mom agrees. Go with what you and your husband love!!!
Go with the name you love! I just gave birth to my firstborn 5 days ago. We named her Blair London, a name we openly shared with everyone. I pretty much gave off the vibe of - I don't get a rats if you like the name or not. Luckily people seems to like her name, but a few haters wouldn't have stopped me. My husband and I absolutely love her and her name and thats really all that matters :)
Girl -- that is why we never shared our baby names, or even what were considering, until after the baby was born and named! Because then, no one will say, 'Oh, congrats but I don't like the name!' Once that little sweetie is born, you'll know what name is right!
My husband and I decided on our youngest daughter's name well before she was even conceived. When I was pregnant with said daughter, we told my mother-in-law what our awesome name was...she said "Don't name her that, that is a crazy person's name!" All the more reason we named her Ellie.
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about YOUR baby name.
ReplyDeleteWe personally did not discuss any name with anyone until our baby arrived & even then we took 6 days to name her. We needed to get to know her & her personality. When we DID name our daughter my mother in law hated the name to the point where she said 'I cannot bring myself to say it or tell people.' My husband said; 'That's okay, we feel like that about YOUR name too!' I love my husband. Keep your cards close to your chest. Don't let anyone's reaction spoil a name you love.
One night I went through 4000 names (not kidding, I just kept going from the top 100 names) and my husband didn't like any of them. We had a tough time but I finally convinced him to pick something! ha! I agree though. It doesn't matter what others think - just know that you'll get some funny faces but as long as you love it that's what matters most! :)
ReplyDeleteI threw out lists and lists of names for weeks and weeks. Husband vito every single one. The name we ultimately chose for our son was the one he didn't vito. I suggested it one day and he thought about it and considered it for days and days....until eventually we found ourselves just referring to our son by that name already. And that's when we knew he could be named nothing else.
ReplyDeleteIt's like falling in love....when you know, you know.
my advice --- don't share the 'pending' names with anyone. Everyone has an opinion but none of them matters. This decision is between you and your husband. Everyone will know the name when she is born AND everyone will love her regardless of her name. There are some things that are not necessary to share with everyone, including your close family and friends.
ReplyDeleteWe learned to not tell anyone the name of our baby till he arrived. Then when you introduce him, they can't say anything because it is already his name.
ReplyDeleteIf you are going with a unique name, I have one piece of general advice. Make sure it is easy to say and spell. I've been tortured all of my life with people butchering my name and have decided not to do that to my kiddos.
ReplyDeleteI do not have children but a good friend and her husband chose not to use a name they picked out because of feedback like that and she regrets it. I agree with everyone else - do what you want! :)
ReplyDeleteLike a previous poster, we did not discuss baby boy/ girl names with anyone other than ourselves. I knew we wouldn't make everyone happy and it surely wasn't about everyone. I agree that baby naming is hard though. We finally had ours picked out just before they came. And I remember laying in recovery after birth with my husband going over the final choice of my 2nd born. It was funny to me that we were in that setting discussing names. I know folks wait to get to know their child for a few days, but I didn't need to find that connection. I've found with both of my boys that they have grown into their names just perfectly. Yours will, too!
ReplyDeletefirst off - your baby. your name. your decision.
ReplyDeletewhen i first told my MIL that i was naming my first born Stella, she replied with 'well i will love her no matter what her name is.' and lemme tell ya, saying that to a 8 month pregnant chick isn't the best idea. but we held strong and named her that anyways. because WE loved it. she is now almost three and boy oh boy is she a Stella. spunky wild child. she fits her name to a T.
hold strong momma!
We knew that our latest baby's name would not go over well with the family so we didn't tell until after she was born. When we called to let my MIL know she was here we got a very awkward "OHhhh...kay." at the name. We still laugh about it. And everyone loves the name now.
ReplyDeletei'm with everyone else...you're better off keeping your name choices to yourself because everyone has an opinion...and will share it ;) if you like the name, that's all that matters. i will say that, for me, my children's names weren't "final" until i saw them. i was convinced i was naming my daughter (my 3rd child) phoebe right up until i took my first look at her and she clearly wasn't a "phoebe" at all. she was, without a doubt, an emma. (yes, it's a very popular name, but we love it...again, if you like it, who cares). good luck!
ReplyDeleteEach of our children's names were our secret and only when my husband announced the arrival of our child to our family in the hospital waiting room did he also introduce their name. Everyone was so happy about the birth that the happiness carried over to their names as well. We've never heard/seen a negative reaction from anyone regarding our children's names....and they are not the norm.
ReplyDeleteWe have names picked out and I am TRYING to keep quiet about them until the baby is actually born but it is HARD!
ReplyDeleteWe sorta had the same thing happen recently, but ultimately we decided to go with it. It just spoke to us and we feel will be fitting of our little girl, Ruby Grey. :)
ReplyDeleteI've pretty low key kids' names but mostly b/c my last name is a little tricky - onomatopoeia an all. I will say this - the funniest SNL skit is Nicolas Cage vetoing names b/c he didn't want his kid to be teased.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/baby-names/1354910/
I just named my kids whatever I wanted.. lol. First is Blake Robert Juergen (all family names) and the second is Cole Richard Isaac (again, family names). If either were a girl, it would have been Annika Elise Christina or Kassia Mae Elizabeth.
ReplyDeleteDON't TELL ANYONE (else!) We never shared our baby names before the baby arrives. After painstakingly picking a name, we didn't care what others thought of it. After the baby is born, people are much less likely to criticize. That said, my MIL hates my daughters name (and told us so after we named her!), and still calls her a nickname! (btw, the name is Isabelle, not like Apple, or something)
ReplyDeleteIt took me until my third pregnancy to finally stop telling everyone our baby names (2nd pregnancy was Milo; a name people tend to either love or hate, and they'll tell you about it either way). And it turned out to be the only time we picked a name my mother approved of (August/Gus). Naming a 4th boy now, which is not a task for the fainthearted. We probably won't decide for sure until we see him.
ReplyDeleteWe learned that it is best not to tell anyone what names are on your baby list because you will alway find someone who has a problem with the name or doesn't like it. And really, it only matters if the two of you are happy with it. If you give them your ideas, everyone will give you their opinions. But if you wait and say, look at this beautiful baby, who's name is ---, then all anyone will focus on is the baby. :)
ReplyDeleteI have learned not to share baby names, someone always has something negative to say.
ReplyDeleteBut once the baby is here no one says anything bad about the name because they see that sweet baby and can't think of anything negative to say.
You and your husband pick and STICK with the name you like. It is one of the first joys of parenthood choosing your Baby's name. Trust me, once that baby is born and named, people say .... " Oh I couldn't imagine he/she named anything else "
ReplyDeleteGo with what you want. She is yours.
ReplyDeleteMost people didn't like our name choices either. We have two girls, Parker Reese {in Heaven} & Landry Stone here with us.
If you love it go with it.... Don't let anyone ruin this moment for you!
We had a list of six girl's names for months, went to hospital with three, and took over 24 hours after we met our daughter to choose just one. Its so hard! We also didn't share with anyone as we didn't want them influencing our final decision. Once the name is attached to a beautiful baby, everyone will like it. Don't listen to them!
ReplyDeleteI always wanted my child's name to be pretty unique but with my first children I was too scared of other people's opinion's ( I was a people pleaser). I realized this with my first child, when even a perfectly acceptable name like 'Laura' was dismissed by one girl.I left her house feeling so bad that I wanted to cry~ hormones maybe. I chose Nicola Alice, in the end even though I really wanted 'Alice' it was not a popular name in the 80's. Anyway, fast forward twenty years and a second marriage. My three boys are called, 'Cairo' 'Milano' and 'Rio'. It caused such a riot when Cairo was born in 2005, but by then , I didn't care. I'm older and wiser and it bounces off. I even allowed myself a moment of smugness when one of my detractors called me to tell me that Lady Gaga's godchild was also named Cairo! Ask Oprah, or Madonna if their unique name helped or hindered them. I also gave my boys two very sensible middle names each so they could change them later if it was a problem. Don't worry what anyone else says. It's your baby who's going to make a mark in the world. I'm sure you'll pick to perfect name, Sally xx
ReplyDeleteIt's YOUR baby so YOU get to pick the name. I say don't worry about those naysayers (that is, unless they can provide reasonable evidence that the suggested name will ruin your child's life ;).
ReplyDeleteHow rude are some people! After publicly musing some names when expecting our son and getting negative reactions to ones that we probably wouldn't have used anyway we stayed quiet on the subject until visitors arrived the day after he was born!
ReplyDeleteLike many others, we do not share the names we have chosen for our children before they are born. Frankly, everyone has an opinion and I really didn't want ti hear it! We chose family names which are not trendy, fashionable, or common and love them.
ReplyDeleteSomeone told me never to share the name of the baby because you might doubt yourself with people's reactions. Once people can SEE the baby and know the name, their minds can fit it better to the baby and they will feel better about it.
ReplyDeleteI guess a name attached to a person sounds better than a name floating around in the air?
Just pick one you guys feel is right and keep it a secret!
When pregnant with my second, I happened to say that I loved the name Clementine and boy did I get an earful from a large party of people (half of which I barely knew). Everyone broke out in a chorus of "Oh My Darlin'". I'm a bit rebellious, so when our daughter was born we named her Laela Clementine. And I can't tell you how many people have complimented us on her name now. Even the former nay-sayers have converted.
ReplyDeleteUltimately it's your decision. You can't please everyone and probably shouldn't anyway. Besides, it's hard to find that ONE name that you BOTH like... so run with it!
my parents didn't tell a soul the name they wanted for me, for fear of people's reactions. i'm glad they didn't because i love my name now!
ReplyDeleteWhen we were trying to conceive (no luck), we had two names picked out, both that were a little different, but we decided we would not tell anyone. It is your business what you call your baby! :)
ReplyDeletexo Terri
I've never named a baby but my sister-in-law swears by the rule of not telling anyone the name ahead of time. As others have mentioned, what other people think doesn't matter, so go with the name you love and keep it secret!
ReplyDeleteI was just looking at my oldest's baby book yesterday. Had he been a girl he would have been named Audry Renee. Audry - turns out we later had a super mean lady at church with that name. Renee was my mother-in-law and you have heard mil stories so that whole name would have ended badly. Our son's first name is John and that was chosen for us. My husband is Matthew, his brother Mark, his nephew Luke so they said they saved "John" for us. Not a name I have ever liked but I do love JFK. You should name your child what you like regardless and not be forced by others.
ReplyDeleteAs many others before me have said....your baby, your choice and keep it to yourselves!
ReplyDeletePick a name that works for you and your husband. You will always find someone that doesn't like your name for one reason or another. My son's name is a family name - Frank Lee. Don't go saying it too fast - you may say a line from Gone With the Wind. : ) People didn't like the name. It was old and boring...blah blah blah. Well he is named after my father in law, the greatest man that I had the pleasure of knowing. We miss him every day of our lives. The name is special to me and my husband. At the end of the day, we were happy with the name and we took home a little Frank Lee. Don't worry about others, it is YOUR name for Your baby.
ReplyDeleteMy name is spelt Deanna and at first glance, most people call me DE-anna. But that's not how I pronounce it, it's DEE-nah. For my entire life, I've answered to two names and I've learned to just go with the flow. At one point my Mom told me to pull an N out (a nun in HS refused to pronounce it correctly on principle and it drove my Mom crazy!) but I chose not to do so. This is the name my parents gave me, spelling and all, and it was their first gift to me. I cherish it. It's MY name.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I admit, when I have kids, you bet your a$$, they will have clear, straightforward names/spelling!
Have a wonderful holiday and birthday for your little girl!
Stella in Portuguesse is star!
ReplyDeleteBaby name picking was extremely hard for us as well. That's the name they will live with for the rest of their lives. I too, never shared my name picking. It's your baby, you name that child what you and your hubby see fit.
ReplyDeleteFor our first born, he was 2 1/2 months early. We weren't expecting a baby be born when I went to emerg to figure out my lower back pain. So, the moment he was born we looked at eachother and the name hubby really wanted, and I hated just didn't suit him. We both said Spencer, and that's what we named him. He is so much a Spencer. Our second born, we were alittle more prepared in the name department "LOL". We named him Cody, and it too suits him.
Good luck in the name picking department, and remember this is your baby, and your the one giving birth to it and deserve to name that bundle of joy you and your man have created.
Liz
I don't have any children yet so haven't named any babies but, like other commenters, I like the idea of keeping it to yourself going forward. Baby Limestone will be a wonderful woman no matter what so I say go forth with the name you and the Mr. love. Can't wait to hear what it is when the time comes, maybe something beginning with "A" (just musing based on the picture in this post)?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, if you both agree on a name, call it a day! That's the hardest part! Screw everyone else. My BFF and mother both pooh-poohed our baby's name, and finally I figured out that they had just had bad experiences with people with his name...it had nothing to do with the name, and it had even less to do with the baby! Once he arrived, no one said a word. It's easy to thumbs down a name. It's impossible to thumbs down a baby.
ReplyDeleteWe picked names out and then didn't go with that name when the baby arrived so we caused all sorts of "discussion" and even received gifts with that name on it. Oops. ;) Ultimately it is your child and not theirs. My daughter's name is Avery and my mom's first comment was "You mean Avery like the Stapler and office supplies?" Yes mother, like the stapler. We named our daughter after a stapler. How ridiculous was that discussion.
ReplyDeleteThat's the beauty of naming your child--she's yours and yours alone! : ) Who cares what others think? I'm sure your name is lovely. xo
ReplyDeleteWe never shared our babies' names until after they were born and named. We chose the names we liked and didn't want any ones opinions, positive or negative. My youngest daughter is named "Ionie" (like Ione Skye)...after she was born and we told every one her name my sister said "did that name just pop into your head, or did you have time to sit with it for awhile?" Sisters, gotta love em!
ReplyDeleteA couple days later we were out and a very pregnant woman asked me my daughter's name, I told her "Ionie" and she said, "Oh, I love that name, I may have to add it to my list" The next time someone asked me her name I lied and said it was "Sarah" ;)
I agree that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of your baby's name. But it may matter to the
ReplyDeletelittle one itself someday.
Saying that I also agree that parents should really think about the names they call their little ones. Any
name that causes a child to be teased throughout life should be tossed out of the running. Now this is just my humble opinion. In my senior year of high school I watched another senior *boy* student sit
on the school bus with tears coursing down his cheeks from once again being teased about his name.
He wiped the tears stood up and left the bus. I hurt so for him. Kids can be cruel. His name was Tex
and you can imagine where the boys went with that.
I'd spare that for any child I was naming.
I'm heading close to 60 now and am about to be O'Ma for the first time.
I have to say i'm worried about the name my darlings are thinking of for our grand. I pray they
don't make the baby sound old before its time or anything that will cause the sweet thing to be teased.
One can only hope and pray.
Blessings to you, hubby and the newest joy.
I have named 6 children...and my youngest's name is what EVERYONE hated (at first). I stuck to it....and now all the negative people say the name fits him to a T. Mama ALWAYS knows best! His name is Gunnar by the way :)
ReplyDeleteIt was hard for my husband and I to find a name that we agreed on, we finally found one and it was my doctor who made us rethink it. Her comment was pretty harmless, just that she had delivered quite a few babies named that recently. We just didn't want our son to have the same name as 5 other kids in his class when he was in kindergarten so we changed our names to something that wasn't quite to popular.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Elise it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks. When that baby is born they take on their names. My Youngest name is Makai and my husband and alot of people didn't really like it but I did and I was sticking with it. I couldn't imagine him having any other name.
ReplyDeleteI love using family names so before we were even married I knew what my son's name would be: Charles Joel after his dad & grandad.
ReplyDeleteSo my dh goes by Charlie, grandpa goes by Joe & my son goes by Joel. It was never a problem for me, I loved both names very much but my son hated it when he reached about middle school. Always having to explain who he was because legal forms go by the 1st name.
As an adult he has come around & decided it's kind of fun. One of his 1st jobs right out of high school, he showed up for work & the supervisor said, 'I don't have you down but this guy Charles didn't show up so you can take his place.' It's been a fun story.
Now he works at the same company as his dad. That's really been fun when people realize they're related. Right after he was hired we got a call from our health insurance asking for Charles ...... I said which one, they said the one that works at M..... Then I said they both work there. That was pretty funny but we do have to be careful that things are clear on everything, distinguishing them by their birthdays. On top of that, there's another employee with the same 1st & last name as them. The pitfalls of a common name I guess.
I never really settled on a girls' name though I was mixing a combination of family names there too.
My only advice is to consider your child's perspective as much as you can. You can't choose a name that won't get some teasing from somewhere. In our case, as my son grew & I shared how much his name meant to me, he was more accepting of it. So I'd go with a name that you & your husband love, that has meaning to you & not worry about everyone else.
I'm so excited for you!!!Being a mom is the such a wonderful thing.
I originallly wanted to name our daughter after my mom's middle name. Until she told me she'd always hated her name! So plan "B." We had a hard time choosing until my husband suggested I write various combinations out. When I wrote my daughter's full name out, it brought tears to my eyes. The name just looked so pretty. My husband agreed and that was it!
ReplyDeleteAfter 11 years of no birth control and 7 years of actively trying and succeeding at IVF on our first go around, there was no other choice! : Victoria! Victory acheived! Perfect name then and now, as she is our beautiful 21 year old "baby"! and she is sooooo her name. We did wait until our amnio until we knew she was a "she , and that was a good thing- because if he was a he, we didn't like Victor enough. Your baby/your dreams for them/your name! but I do believe some babies just are NOT the personality of the name you choose before they are actually here, so always have a back up idea, but mostly, just go with your gut. If your husband's name was &$(%&#(#) and your name was ($&#@!!$, you would have both loved each other just the same! This is such a wonderful time of your life right now and it only gets better- enjoy every little part of it! It is part of a process of becoming parents and falling in love with her. God bless you all 3 !
ReplyDeleteI agree with toya aboya - - don't tell anyone! Do you realize how many times you will call out your child's name - you both better love it. Who cares what aunt Ema thinks, she had her time, now it's yours.
ReplyDeletethe important thing is that you and your husband like the name - that is no easy accomplishment! with our first, my husband and i never had one productive conversation about names - we were so far apart in what we liked and each of us practically hated everything the other liked that it was nearly impossible to find middle ground. we ended up choosing a name that neither of us would have picked had it been up to either of us alone, but that we both liked enough to use. and it suits our son perfectly - i now can't imagine him being named anything else. we're now expecting our second, and we're in no better shape this time. all that is to say, the fact that you AND your hubs both like the same name is a gift, and is enough. plus, even if people seem critical at first, that just can't last - whatever name you choose will end up suiting your child, and it will just naturally grow on people (or they will at least become accustomed to it). don't let others' initial reactions take away a name you both like.
ReplyDeleteWe were on the fence with names up until we were leaving the hospital with the baby!! Even after we settled on Luca, I wavered. We never told any family, but I did tell my best friend just in case I was missing something.
ReplyDeletea girl at work told me that her friend announced that they had a little girl and her name was Ashley Madison. Um...after a few brave souls told her that there was a certain website called that, she changed the name. haha
So if you don't want to tell anyone beforehand, do give it a quick google :-)
With my second pregnancy, my husband and I decided that if it was a girl she would be Katherine...a name I love because it is biblical, strong, and beautiful. My MIL always said "Yuck" to the idea whenever she inquired about name possibilities. I ended up with a wonderful son, instead.
ReplyDeleteWe named our first daughter McDaniel which is my mother's maiden name. We told no one beforehand so no one could crush our excitement. With our 2nd baby, we agreed on a boy's name but not the girls name. I wanted Ruby after my great-grandmother. My husband did not. But he went away on a conference and came back with a necklace with an R on it. He gave it to me and said Ruby would be fine if we had a girl. So sweet! He changed his mind 2 days later. So now we have a McDaniel and an Eleanor.
ReplyDeletePick the name that speaks to you, not your friends and family! And DO NOT discuss with anyone until after the baby is born. Then simply introduce your new baby with his/her new name - everyone will love it once they fall in love with your little bundle of joy! And if not, well shame on them for telling you.
ReplyDeleteI love my daughters names. I picked them both out.. The second one my husband didn't care for but when she was born he said, "Go ahead" you know what you want to name her. I didn't care what anyone thought.. I shouted the names from the roof tops... My (Maranda and Brenna)...
ReplyDeleteEwwww they should have kept their mouths shut!!!
ReplyDeleteI have a stuffed bear on my loveseat named Thor Xerxes. Those were actual names in the baby book when I was pregnant with my now-21 year old. Better the bear than my baby (named Andrew Dolan ) My niece has three children, all with unusual/unpopular names. When she was pregnant with her 3rd and last she let the family know that the baby was going to be called "Greta Olive". By far, NOT my favorite. I thought it was a horrible name. I couldn't believe they would saddle my Great niece with such an 'old' name. Well all, I have to say is 'shame on me'. Greta is an absolute doll and her name fits her. Moral of the story, as many of your readers have voiced, your baby, your choice. Choose what fits your family and keep the name to yourself. They'll get used to it and come to love it AND the baby! (Greta's older brothers, Gunnar & Sawyer, and cousin, Romeo are the BEST grand nephew's I could ask for. Can't wait to find out what Romeo's soon-to-be baby sibling is to be named)
ReplyDeleteWe had a similar experience with our first. For our second girl we didn't tell too many people. I really didn't want to hear the unenthusiastic "oh's". Seriously, lie to me if you don't like it. People just don't think sometimes. Regardless, it only matters if you like it.
ReplyDeleteI guess my response is probably the same as everyone else. To me, your baby's name is a reflection of you and your hubby so of course most people will have a problem with it and tell you that so you would consider changing it(probably to another name they don't like). It's hard to both agree on a name ( we are picking out our third). By the time you eliminate all the names of people you didn't care for throughout life you feel there is nothing left! :) I also felt naming our first two was that the name came to us. Once we heard it, tossed it out a coup,e times, we knew that was it, it was meant to be. We didn't share with anyone because we didn't want to hear or see their reaction. Like most commenters, if you tell people the name after it is born, they won't comment because its carved in stone and they are too busy eyeing up the new beauty anyway. People might scoff in the beginning but after a very short time, you baby's name is that and no one could picture her being anything else. (Gabriel, Eli, Luke, Mia, Nyla, Orrick, Anna, Calliah, Naomi, Quinn are just a few running in our family)
ReplyDeleteMade the mistake of telling my name for a boy way before I was married or pregnant (family names) only to have SIL take it. SIgh. Many years later pregnant and hubs had carte blanche to name daughter (because he really wanted a daughter) and he told both families. Big negative reaction even though name was lovely (Caitlin Alexandra), he changed name and kept quiet until daughter born. Vetoed all nicknames except one and every one grew to like it.
ReplyDeleteSecond pregnancy (knew it was boy) and I had carte blanche for boy's names. Learned from first time and told no one til baby was born.
Go with the name you like; you will regret it if you don't. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Both my children love how their names came to be. Just make sure the initials don't spell something they will regret would be my only advise.
Now I have to know the name your mother-in-law couldn't bring herself to say :)
ReplyDeleteIt's your child. Enuf said.
ReplyDeleteI personally have an unusual name, more common now, but I know my mom went through a lot of issues in naming me. Roxanne was in the mix, but my grandfather said she couldn't name me after a prostitute... :) and she actually changed my name multiple times on the birth certificate, from Ryan Renee, to Renee Ryan, even letting the nurse typing up the birth certificate sway her. Finally she had enough of everyone's opinion and named me Ryan Renee. The nurse wasn't so kind, on the third certificate she wrote I was male and I now have an amendment attached to my birth certificate (thanks rude lady). But that is neither here, nor there. My mom had a purpose when she picked a more prominently male name, she saw a woman that was strong and savvy. I really like my name, even if she had me going by Renee for a part of my school life because I was constantly getting in trouble for defending myself. :( Life is cruel, but sometimes a name is a name. You are the one saying it the most and if you like it, don't let anyone make you second guess yourself!!
ReplyDeleteGo with whatever name YOU like. Although, I suggest holding off on totally choosing until you meet your baby. Both of my girls' names were chosen with family history in mind. My younger daughter is named Ila Maeve and people were not really fans of either of her names. But, I love them both and she is totally an "Ila" :) My friend went with the name her hubby liked and when her daughter was 6 months old she legally changed it to the name SHE had originally wanted because her baby just didn't *fit* with the name they'd chosen. She totally suits her new name. Baby naming IS hard work :) Good luck.
ReplyDeleteLOL. I know someone whose child is also called Clementine. They also have a Pearl.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any of my own but as a former teacher I have two pet peeves:
ReplyDelete1)strange spellings that make a name difficult to pronounce
2)names that sound like something else (especially the combo of first/middle names) like Drew Lee. That one is just mean!
Either way, I say pick the name you both love, she is your baby. The longer people think about her name after she is born the more they will realize they like it.
My son's name was not popular among family and friends but my husband and I loved it so that was that. :) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was pregnant the best naming advice was from a woman who's daughter has an awesome name, she applied a simple test "Does the name sound right as a high court ( in your case Supreme court) judge, a rock star and shouted in full across a school playground?" This simple test helped us immensely in selecting our daughters name. We only told the grannies our choice, my mum said 'that's weird, that's what you called all your dolls when you were four (I still cannot recall this!) and his mum said "That was your great-great- grandmother's name... she was a total bitch" (?!).
ReplyDeleteIn the words of Anthony Hopkins in "Legends of the Fall"...Screw 'em! It's your baby & her name. Not theirs. Who cares what they think. People were put off at first when we told them we were giving our daughter a boy name. Now they can't picture her as anything other than Aidan.
ReplyDeleteI shared with family about my two name options, though I was pretty set on "Gabriella" -- of course, that invited a lot of comments on how horrible it would be to give a child the nickname "Gabby" in a family of chatterboxes... In the end, they all ended up loving her name and even use the "horrible" nickname themselves. My much-anticipated second daughter's name has caused more contestation -- Anastasia -- due to the Fifty Shades of Grey character; but for me, the meaning and personal love/relevance outweighs all of that. HOLD STRONG!
ReplyDeleteNo name advice, but about that photo: I heart your heart-shaped bokeh!
ReplyDeleteHi! My name is Anastasia. Everyone calls me Natassa. It means the one who is resurecting in Greek (not like a zombie or anything). Here in Greece we mainly give baby names from our parents. My sisters name is Antigone, you know, the one from Homer's poem.
ReplyDeleteIt means "opposed to motherhood", "in place of a mother". It may also mean "against men" since men were dominant in the Ancient Greek family structure, and Antigone clearly defied masculine authority, or "anti-generative", from the root gonē, "that which generates" (related: gonos, "-gony"; seed, semen).
You know, there is a whole philosophy around baby-naming. What does the name of your baby mean? If you haven't searched it already, it should help you deside.
Also here in Greece, we consider the Saints that we take the name from(we are Christian Orthodox). Like, Saint Anastasia was called Farmacolitria, which means healer of poisons.
My advice is stop sharing it with anyone. No one will tell you they don't like your baby's name AFTER she's actually here and you will love it which is all that matters. I found that sharing the name ideas beforehand just confused and frustrated me because everyone has an opinion.
ReplyDeleteDon't tell anyone. There will always be someone, no matter how nice the name is, that won't like it!
ReplyDeleteI told my grandma what we wanted to name our baby if it was a girl, My husband really liked it. She was always so classy, supportive, and loving, except that day when she stuck out her tongue and gagged. I thought it was a coincidence but it wasn't. I never thought perhaps because we picked an older name she might have known someone she didn't like with that name. We had a boy so crisis averted but then we had a girl used the name and she never said a word or made a face again. Sometimes you have to just get used to the idea.
ReplyDeleteI have 2 stories. First My mother wanted a name that you couldn't shorten and she picked Hazel but THANKFULLY my grandmother with a sense of humour added Hazelnut, that put an end to that. I became Heather instead - Thanks Gran! When trying to pick a name for our third daughter we had trouble, going through dozens of names that we couldn't agree on until her dad suggested one that I didn't like but didn't hate, Alyssa, days before she was born I overheard him say he liked Rebecca but I didn't - hang on I liked Rebecca, but now he couldn't be swayed from the less liked Alyssa - sigh. However on the day of her birth I couldn't be bothered arguing with him over it and when he announced Girl and Alyssa ( Grannies to the rescue again!) he was met with a chorus of Rebeccas.... and it is perfect!
ReplyDeletePS my two cents -- neither the baby nor the name isn't YOURS it's their own and they have to live with it. A name "just to be different" just may not be the right thing to do for them. That being said plenty of people with odd names have done just fine.
ReplyDeleteI planned to name my son Milo, then was ridiculed by my entire family and ended up changing the name. I ended up with 2 alternate boy names and decided on "the one" after he was born. I truly love his name, but I do regret that I let other people's opinions steer me away from the first name that was in my heart.
ReplyDeleteNaming a child for life is a huge responsibility. I like names that can mature with the child. I want to picture her as an 80-year-old grandma who is called Nana "x" and it fits. My girls are Marina and Marcella. We have all M names for our kids (boy too) because we didn't want them to feel singled out (weird parental guilt trip). While your name may not be conventional, if you both love it and are in agreement about the name, then that is the name. Of course, you will want to look at your child and see if it "fits." Good luck.
ReplyDeleteConventional wisdom (and most do the comments here) says its your baby, so pick out the name you love and who cares what others think. However, as someone pointed out above, this won't belong to you, but to your child. If EVERYONE dislikes the name, it could just be that you've picked out a name your child will not thank you for.
ReplyDeleteWe had decided to name our 2nd baby (destined to be an only girl) Shannon Arrie, but a few hours after she was born I looked at her and knew without a doubt her name was Moira Ann. So I filled out the paperwork and we were good to go except my husband had left the hospital and told everyone the first name. He now agrees that her name is perfect for her but he held the paperwork hostage when our next two babies were born!! She is a gorgeous 17 year old today and her name is perfect for her!
ReplyDeleteI agree with many of the other commenters…Don't share the name with anyone…We actually always had two names picked out for each sex…very hard to do. When we met our little one…we always knew which one of the two names we had picked out for them suited them better. In our first case we had two girls names ready for our daughter ( we didn't know whether it was a girl or boy) Willow and Bronwyn, she was born 9lb 7oz…she was no Willow…Bronwyn it was. When she was a baby it seemed to be such a huge name, when she was in kindergarden she told me she wished she was named Sarah…but now as a confident young woman her name is unique and she loves her name. Just like her parents always knew she would.
ReplyDeleteSo pick a name that will last for their life…don't share it until they are born and stick by it…people always come around to it.
Don't make the mistake of letting others make you feel like you should name your baby what THEY want. I wanted to name my daughter Olivia but so many people made a face at that name I acquiesced and I went with the name Kaitlin (really, is Olivia that odd of a name??) 18 years later her graduating class had 21 Kaitlin/Caitlin/Katelyn/Catelin's but not a single Olivia! The point being, I'm sure you're not naming your baby something off the wall (#hashtag?!?!) and names are like cars...tell anybody the model of car you're thinking of buying and they'll tell you 100 reasons why you shouldn't buy it. Naming your baby is an intimate and personal decision between the parents and while it's natural that you want approval from others for the decision you're making (cause let's face it...this is a lifelong decision you are making for someone else) be confident in your choice. Trust me, after naming 4 kids and now raising a grandson (named Rhett..lots of tongue tsking when that was announced), your name choice (if there are any objections) will be eclipsed by the joy a new baby brings. Congratulations on your new baby and enjoy your last few weeks before the arrival.
ReplyDeleteNobody really cared for either name we picked out (we didn't know what we were having). But we stuck to it. In the end, the people that matter most will love your child. And frankly, it's rude to be telling someone you don't like the name of your future child.
ReplyDeleteKeep it to yourself! No reason to share with friends, family, the world, because people will only want to steer you one way or the other.
ReplyDeleteMy mom didn't have a name picked out for me until she was watching an episode of the TV show Soap. My grandfather commented on how pretty Corinne was on the show, and my mom said she just KNEW that had to be my name! My original middle name was Renee, but she changed that when I was three days old because my father thought she chose that after his grandmother. That wasn't why she picked the name, and she didn't want that association with it, so she picked out something that no one else in any of the families had!
I agree with some of the other comments - don't share the name until after the birth. We did this for both of our boys, and found that it was then not an open discussion. The boys were named, we had decided, and all our family and friends had to do was welcome our bundle of joy into the world.
ReplyDeletePeople can be very opinionated and vocal - at the end of the day, this is the name you will say hundreds of times throughout each day (both in joy, laughter, exasperation and frustration!), and will forever join your family tree to be reflected upon by future generations in your family.
Enjoy the moment!
When we named our Daughter, London Paisley, most everyone didn't like it. Mostly they didn't like Paisley, but some didn't like London either. We decided we didn't care because we loved it so much. And now that she is a spunky 4 year old, everyone gushes at how cute it is when we tell them her name.
ReplyDeleteBig fan of your blog! We chose not to find out the sex of both our children (however, in my heart of hearts, I new I was destined for boys). In the beginning we would share the names we were thinking about using, however, some of our friends and family were not keen on them. In the end we stopped sharing, and announced their names shortly after the boys were born. It was too late for them to comment, and the names we picked suited their little faces. The meaning of the names are also important to us, here are my boys meanings... King (older boy) Companion (younger boy).
ReplyDeleteBest of luck :)
Go with what you like. As a mother in law to 3 great girls, I've tried to learn to keep my opinions to my self and just enthusiastically tell them and their husbands "great job", 'like your choice". You are the ones who will say/call that name millions of times so go with what you love.
ReplyDeleteIt starts with an A. How cool :)
ReplyDeleteAww, my brother is named Milo. We were born in the early 80s & I've never actually met anyone else with that name here in the US (even though me & my other brother have extremely common names). I had no idea people hate his name! :(
ReplyDeleteI remember being at a gathering when I was about 6 months pregnant and at one stage during the evening a largish group around the table started discussing what would make a good name for our baby. I just went quiet and felt very uncomfortable. My advice is don't discuss it with anyone... it's important that you and your partner are happy ... nobody else.
ReplyDeleteThis would be the advice coming from a grandmother. Don't ask for suggestions unless you really want them. Choose your name and unless you feel the need for it to be a huge secret, let people know and tell them how much you love the name and why you chose it and tell them that you hope they will grow to love it and see that it is right fit for your little girl. In the end, all the controversy in the world doesn't matter about who likes the name, once that beautiful baby girl arrives, everyone falls in love with her. Keep in mind, your family and friends are invaluable as you begin your role as a mother so if they disagree, be kind and ask them to just be happy for you! Rise above all the pettiness that might come up over names, and be the loving, kind person you want her to grow up to be.
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids... but when my brother was born, he was named Owen Samuel. A couple weeks later, it still wasn't sticking. He just didn't look like an Owen! So, my parents drove around all day (back when gas was cheaper...) throwing out every name they could think of. They finally came up with Tyler Scott.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how aware I am now of certain things (that I was oblivious to pre-baby)! Like reactions to baby names & such. When I was prego, we didn't feel the need to shroud Q's name in secrecy for a huge reveal YET we only told people if they asked specifically.....always w/ the disclaimer that it could be subject to change, ha! We also shouted it around the house a lot to get a feel for it. "Quinn Evie, I'm going to count to 3 & if you don't put Mommy's wine bottles back.......")
ReplyDeleteI am so considerate now to prego moms & am so careful to not put them on the spot when it comes to the name game. It's amazing how EVERYONE has an opinion. I am sure you don't need us to tell you this, but as long as you two love it & it fits baby girl once you lay eyes on her tiny little face, everyone else will come around. She's going to steal everyone's hearts no matter what her name is.
xoxo
As long as its not Pilot Inspektor I think you are probably cool.
ReplyDeleteI'm currently 6 months preggo and we chose to not keep our little boy's name (Roarke) a secret. We have had a wide array of reactions...some loved it, some were puzzled by it. Even my mother had a lukewarm reaction. But now that everyone has gotten used to referring to him by his name, they all like it. If it's a particularly unique name, I think some people just need time to process it. Bottom line: my husband and I were both set on that being the name and we never wavered because WE loved it.
ReplyDeleteI always knew that if I had a girl, her name would be Jade... When I became pregnant, I told everyone, and she was called by her name from the moment we found out she was a girl. It's been over five years, and I still adore her name, and so does she! I had a few naysayers, but it did not faze me. We LOVE IT, and that is all that counts.
ReplyDeleteDo a meditation and ask the baby to tell you it's name - you will "hear" the answer with your inner voice! That's a fun way to do it : )
ReplyDeleteClementine is a GREAT name!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to name our little girl Elliott, however, my husband said we could not name our daughter the same name as our boy fat cat. For the 8 years prior I always told him this would be the name of our child - even though we had the cat - and he was in agreement... until it was real. Then it was no way! I still give him a hard time about this and he still tells me we can't name our kid after our cat. Whatever! We ended up going with Penelope and at 2 years old she is just the greatest. She even started calling herself Penny. We gave our parents the initials once we decided and then let them guess for the last several months. It was kind of hilarious having them come up with all the P & J names that they could.
ReplyDeleteIf you and your husband like the name keep it. Once the baby is here people with get used to it and you will still be happy with your choice. When I named my oldest daughter "Sarah Pearl" after my much loved Grandmother my sister said "Why didn't you just name her "Wall Flower"? Nice huh? My neice didn't tell anyone either of the names she and her husband picked for their son and daughter until she had given birth. The names are Oliver and Virginia.
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids yet but I've heard horror stories of people changing their name because someone else didn't like what they picked out. You'll always have someone say, "I don't like that name because I once knew a person ..." and poof your lovely name is ruined for yourself because of someone else's misfortune. So I'd say if you and the hubs agree on it - then keep it to yourself because it's more precious that way and no one dares to tell you they don't like a name once a baby is born! :)
ReplyDeleteEstrella is star in portugues. Unlike in Spanish, you pronounce the Ls
ReplyDeleteI love names. Our sons each have a name from both sides and our daughter was named a new name. Actually our son love her name and wanted us to name her - Amelia.
ReplyDeletepve
Don't tell anyone the name, and do whatever you like. My dad still doesn't like my brother's name, which they changed because the grandparents didn't like what they picked. My brother is 25.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I had a similar situation to your first comment by Elise. I was in the hospital holding my new baby boy, my mom called and I told her his name and there was dead silence on the line. She also said she did not want to tell anyone. Well, fast forward 16 1/2 years...his name suits him perfectly - and my mom agrees. Go with what you and your husband love!!!
ReplyDeleteGo with the name you love! I just gave birth to my firstborn 5 days ago. We named her Blair London, a name we openly shared with everyone. I pretty much gave off the vibe of - I don't get a rats if you like the name or not. Luckily people seems to like her name, but a few haters wouldn't have stopped me. My husband and I absolutely love her and her name and thats really all that matters :)
ReplyDeleteGirl -- that is why we never shared our baby names, or even what were considering, until after the baby was born and named! Because then, no one will say, 'Oh, congrats but I don't like the name!' Once that little sweetie is born, you'll know what name is right!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I decided on our youngest daughter's name well before she was even conceived. When I was pregnant with said daughter, we told my mother-in-law what our awesome name was...she said "Don't name her that, that is a crazy person's name!" All the more reason we named her Ellie.
ReplyDeleteTo be clear - I didn't ask for suggestions. Some people just can't help but share their 2 cents.
ReplyDeleteIn a message dated 12/6/2012 8:15:34 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, notifications@disqus.net writes:
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