Just a few short weeks ago I was a different person. I had other interests! I could talk about current events or exotic travel or good design or a few other adult topics. And while those categories still pique my interest somewhere way back in my mind, they aren't occupying much brain power lately.
In other words, I've become that insufferable new mother who is completely preoccupied with baby. And guess what? I'm not even a little apologetic about it! So what I live in yoga pants and haven't slept more than a few straight hours since she arrived? So what I have nothing interesting to talk about anymore? She is my world and that is okay with me for now.
Despite the roller coaster the past few weeks have been, I'm feeling especially blessed to have my sweet little girl, a husband who I couldn't love more and a comfortable home to enjoy the the precious weeks my maternity leave. I don't want to miss this opportunity to enjoy it.
I know I'll be back to the land of the living at some point in the near future but for now I'm going to soak up babyland for as long as I can! My friends in real life don't seem to mind (or at least they have the good sense not to say anything about it) so I hope my dear blog readers will bear with a few more baby posts as I adjust to this new me.
For the mothers that have been through it all: I'd love to hear your words of wisdom on how to best enjoy this time while becoming a normal person again (eventually!). What are you happy you did and didn't do? What do you wish you had done differently?
I don't think you're meant to go back to your old normal after you have a child, and each subsequent kid has the same effect: total transformation. That's ok. Because, as everyone will tell you, it's fleeting. I honestly have no idea where the last 12 years of my life as a Mom have gone. It's been the longest and shortest time in my life. Maybe it's because just when you think this stage is the absolute best, the next one comes along and your capacity to love this little human gets even stronger.
ReplyDeleteMy only advice (and I am far from expert) would be to steal a few moments to remember who your old self was. Maybe just an hour alone here and there. And hang on to the little moments with Agatha... and take a zillion pictures because one day you won't believe she was ever this little!
www.nutmegandcompany.blogspot.com
Soak it up my friend! It's such a special time and it will pass all too soon (except that saying 'the days are long, the years are short' will make a lot of sense in your new life as a Mom, but don't you worry about all of us - we're so excited for you and can't wait to watch your daughter grow!
ReplyDeletexo
Kate
Really truly sleep when the baby sleeps. Because soon you'll be back to work and still getting up at night and you'll miss the opportunity you had! Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteA wonder of God for you to love and care for... Gefeliciteerd met dit prachtige kindje.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy I was able to take a long maternity leave and soak up every moment of my son's newness. I'm happy that I didn't worry about housework or laundry while he was so tiny. One thing I wish I'd done differently is take more photos of the two of us. I'm the photographer of the family and while there are plenty of photos of my son alone or with my husband, we have very few of just the two of us. I really regret that :(
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you posted this. I had to start following you on instagram just so i could catch a glimpse of her! She really is beautiful. So feel free to blog about baby as much as you want because chances are many of your readers want to hear about your life with her. My little boys are 4 and 23 months so I miss those times where all I could do and wanted to do is snuggle with my newborn. Take pictures of everything because she will never be that small again. Document everything. I didn't get to do that with my first son, now I wish I had written down the date of his first tooth, the first time he sat up, or even his first smile. Get used to talking about her all the time because that is your new normal. There is nothing wrong with that! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteShe's so sweet! Don't worry as a new mom myself I completely understand. The days go by fast. Everytime she smiles at me I try to memorize her sweet face at that exact moment just so I can remember it. It's such a bittersweet feeling. Try to live in the moment, forget about chores and to do lists. I try to take as many pictures as I can to be able to relive those sweet moments with my baby girl.
ReplyDeletePlease keep posting about your little lady A! My daughter is 3 now-- I got a leather bound journal for a shower gift with instructions to write letters to her on a regular basis. I've written everything from big events like her birth story to little things like the first time she waved goodbye. It is such fun to go back and read what was going on in our lives! It's also a great way for me to tell her over and over we love her. Although I'm the primary write, my husband writes a letter every year on her birthday telling her how blessed he feels to be her dad. I am so thankful for the gift of that leather journal! I'd highly recommend! I plan on giving it to her when she leaves home.
ReplyDeletePrecious and beautiful! My advice? Do exactly what you are doing! Enjoy every minute. Yes, sleep when possible. The dishes/laundry/vacuuming/etc can wait (for weeks!). Hold, cuddle, and love your bundle as much as possible (although, feel free to put her down when you need some time for you). They are so tiny for such a short time. enjoy!
ReplyDeleteOh my what a beauty! All my love and congratulations to you! My advice is to breathe and slow down, take it in and enjoy every fast going moment with her. These times go so fast that you'll have a hard time remembering them. So be "that" person as much as you want mama! Enjoy!!!
ReplyDeleteAww! Happy for you. Just enjoy it. My kids, Holly and Will, are 11 and 9 now. Even though I was home with them and in the thick of things for years, sometimes, I can't remember what their little baby faces used to look like. Some nights, I'll sit on their beds and look at their big professional baby picture on the wall (pre social-networking, pre-iphone and before people shared 100s of pictures) and ask myself why I didn't enjoy it more. The thing is--I did. I just took it day-by-day and it flew by. She's beautiful. Congrats.
ReplyDeleteEmbrace it and enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteThey are only that little for such a short, short while. = )
I for one love the baby posts! Keep them coming! Likely many of us readers are in or have been in the same sweet place as you are now. As for maternity leave, take her out! Obviously not in this FREEZING weather, but go on dates. If you get used to it when you have the time to run back home because you forgot the diaper bag or God forbid her pacifier, it's no big deal. Plenty of time to make mistakes and get used to your new partner in crime. I loved meeting girl friends for coffee, roaming the nice shopping streets and generally taking in all that was around me. When you are back to work things get hectic and those things just don't happen as frequently. enjoy your beautiful bundle of sleepless joy!
ReplyDeletedon't miss a second of it. It goes by so fast. I used to watch my sons sleep!! I couldn't get enough of those tiny features. and I didn't even like babies before!! My bundles of joy are now 18 & 21 and tower over me. Soak every,single,second,in. Agatha is beautiful! Congratulations
ReplyDeleteWith a precious face like her's, I can 100% understand your smitten state. Congratulations... she is a doll.
ReplyDelete- Jaime
She is so precious and such a blessing! Don't let anyone or any job or task make you believe they are more important than HER. You only have her for a short time...it goes so very fast.
ReplyDeleteI would also recommend getting out of the house! At this stage it can be easier to take them places so we met up with friends all the time for coffee, dinner, whatever. (Also, here in Seattle some of the breweries allow minors (since they're not actually a bar) and we've found this to be a great meeting place with friends!) Plus, you don't have to worry about if your house is clean or now. :)
ReplyDeleteBless you she's gorgeous. You know what just enjoy this time it goes by in a flash, take a million photos/videos and enjoy your precious girl. My daughter turns 10 in a month and it's all gone by in a heartbeat. Exotic travel, design etc will all still be there when you're less sleep deprived, don't worry xx
ReplyDeleteJust keep on staring at her! My little girl is 5 months old now and I can't believe it. She's my second which makes the stare sessions less frequent so hold onto them as long as you can and have fun. Just wing everything else :).
ReplyDelete13 years ago I gave birth to my first born. Here I am now with 4. At times I have wondered where certain friendships have gone. I have thought "I must be boring" as my main focus is my kiddos which probably dominates my conversations and most likely has pushed some to exclude me. I have been lonely and had to start making new friends. I am happy that my focus has been on making sure that they have the best childhood I can give them because now they share their joys and lives fully with me. They are smart, happy, kind individuals. I wish I hadn't tried so hard to have a perfectly clean home. It exhausted me and it's time I'll never have again.
ReplyDeleteOh, I forgot to add something else. Recently Scott pulled out all of our video recordings because my mom wanted us to look of ones with Gregory in them. He started to put them all on a hard drive and off those 2003 type tapes. Well honestly, I was in awe of my babies all over again. I have TONS of photo (some you even took LOL) but to HEAR their voices, hear the phrases that I forgot they used to say everyday, hear them say "Mommy", see them jumping on the bed in their character underwear or playing in the bathtub..I was crying many times because I forgot what they sounded like as a baby/toddler/pre-K. So take video of her moments, sounds, eyes...someday you will look back in wonder.
ReplyDeleteI remember being slightly alarmed that my newborn would only sleep when being held. I let the books and collective "sleep police" bully me into being afraid she would never sleep in a crib and we would be those odd family bed people. Of course she learned to sleep in her crib and now that she's six, I would love to go back go those days of holding her for hours. If only I had known how fleeting it all is. Hold her as much as you can because she will be crawling, walking, and running (away from you!) before you know it! Enjoy these days...
ReplyDeleteLove your blog. You and the babe are both gorgeous. I had my baby boy 6 days ago and reading your post made me feel like it was myself talking. Such a precious thing and it will all go by so fast.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Polly... even if she does learn to only fall asleep in your arms, it won't last forever. They grow so independent as they get older! Hold her close, because it IS such a short, sweet time. That first year was the longest and shortest year of my life-- so much happened, it amazed me that it had all taken place in one year; but it flew by oh so quickly. The one year mark is bittersweet...
ReplyDeleteAnd about getting out more often-- I know everyone is different. I had my baby in the winter, and we stayed at home for the first month. It felt like we were cocooned in a warm little cave; I really treasure that time we had as a family of three.
I was, and still kind of am, a sleep drill sergeant, but I am glad that I brought my first baby into bed with me after she woke every morning at 6. I'd feed her then we'd sleep together for another couple hours - with the covers down at my waist, my head thrown way back, and my arms in a sort of brace shape because I was worried about smothering her! It doesn't happen with subsequent babies and I'm so glad I had those sweet morning sleep snuggles while they lasted.
ReplyDeleteYou're very brave - or crazy! ;o) to ask us moms for advice...
ReplyDeleteMy baby is almost 20 & I've learned not to regret. Do the best you can with what information you have & then move on. Yes, you'll make mistakes & wish you had done things differently but you are making the best choices you can with what you know now. Any mistakes are what develop our character as well as our child's. Learning to love means learning to accept each other without conditions, mistakes & all. As you do that with yourself she'll be a much more content women she is 20.
What I would change - I'd hold my baby more & say yes more to simple things. I'd also 'play' work more together. I was not very good about letting my child work with me around the house. I'd just want to get things done. So I'd let her pretend work with you as much as you can. That's it!
I wish someone would have told me that they are only newborns for about the first six weeks. It goes by so fast. Don't worry if they will only sleep when held at first. It won't last forever. As a freelancer, I wish I had said no to all projects the first few months instead of having lingering things (however small) that I had to do that were work related and took my focus off of enjoying the first precious moments with my little guy. I wish I had taken more videos the first few days/ months even though it seemed there wasn't much to video because he wasn't "doing" anything. I love the few videos I did take and wish I had more... If you have time now, read "French Kids Eat Everything" by Karen Le Billon now so you will have some ideas for when it's time to introduce solid food. Enjoy these moments!
ReplyDeleteNo real advice, just enjoy your sweet baby girl! The 3 of you have begun the greatest journey that life has to offer and I have a feeling you will navigate it just beautifully. Don't fear the bumps in the road, embrace them.
ReplyDeleteI too am a new Mom
ReplyDeleteI too am a new Mom, and I can completely relate! I rarely put on makeup and forget about jeans. I can't fit into mine so I'm stuck with sweats 7 days a week. We're lucky if we can even get at least 3 to 4 hours of sleep at night! My instagram, facebook and iphone pics are now filled with baby pics. Congrats on baby Agatha. She is precious! Look forward to sharing this "mom" journey with you!
ReplyDeleteAissa
http://lovetenfold.blogspot.com
Thank you for sharing your joy! She is precious! My littlest little is almost 3 and my advice is to cherish every minute! It is fleeting! Even the hard times are over before you know it, and I wish I had realized that they are only babies for a year. And it is a special year.
ReplyDeleteI am going to be the exact same one day! She's gorgeous!!!
ReplyDeleteGive yourself permission to do nothing but take care of that baby! Honestly, I am now one of those annoying mothers who say, "it all goes by so fast". Because it does. My baby is now 13 and I still remember those first blurry weeks of utter astonishment.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy every moment! She is beautiful and don't apologize that she now lives in your heart. It happens...they go from your womb straight into your heart! Mine are now in their 30's & I don't know how that happened and when. Just follow your instincts! That is why God blessed women to have babies....our instincts were his gift too. Just know that bad, crazy, sleepless times will pass and you will not remember them. You know they happened but they fade....the sweet times stay......blessings!
ReplyDeleteTake all the time you need. Everything else will still be there when you're ready. Hold that baby as much as possible. They grow so fast it's unbelievable. Take a gazillion pictures and videos. I had forgotten what my four year old was like as a baby and going back to the pictures and videos is so amazing. Definitely sleep when she sleeps. The first time around I felt like I had to keep everything up but now I realize that nothing is that urgent. And you need your sleep to keep your sanity;). You'll make mistakes along the way, we all do. Don't sweat it. And don't compare your babies accomplishments to others. Every child goes at their own pace. One thing I wish I had done is go to those mommy and me classes. It would have been nice to meet other moms with babes the same age.
ReplyDeleteShe is beyond beautiful!! Congratulations!! I wish I hadn't been so obsessed with keeping my house "perfect" in those early days. I should have slept more and cleaned less. Little did I know that it is easier to keep it in order while they are babies than as they get older! And here's another vote for the pure truth of "the days are long but the years are short." xoxo, Traci
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the little bambino - she is an absolute doll! Time flies so quickly after they're born...enjoy every little moment. Everyone will try to give you advice on what is "right"...take it with a grain of salt ;) Hold her and hold her always. With my first, everyone said I held her too much. I don't think there is such a thing. I was also a career woman, but turned SAHM - best decision hands down! Enjoy your time and capture the memories :D
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is 20 months now and I have not regretted one moment I have spent snuggling with her instead of doing something more productive. She is changing every day. Everything else can wait.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful photographs. She looks adorable and cuddly. Enjoy your time off.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy her. That's my advice. She's only little for such a short amount of time. Sniff her little head, take videos and pictures. Soak it all up. You will naturally go back to your old self, with a healthy dose of "mom."
ReplyDeleteHow could you not be obsessed with her. She's perfect. My only suggestion would be to try to stay away from the computer at night because that type of light interferes with sleep. Getting enough rest is the most important thing you can do. It makes everything else easier.
ReplyDeleteLovely photos, Stef! Not sure I've ever resumed normal life and (as you know), my boys have been here for quite a while! I started working part-time last year for the first time since they were born, and I really enjoy it -- not just for the work itself, but also because there I am someone besides Thomas & Alexander's Mom. Also I am really really really glad to have figured out (and followed) the boys' sleep cues from a pretty early go (2-3 months old). Sleep is transforming for the whole house!
ReplyDeleteLove that you have turned into one of "those people". Congratulations !
ReplyDeleteOh I didn't mean to give the impression I wasn't going back to work. As much as I would love to be a SAHM, that is not the right decision for us. Although I'm not sure how Im going to be able to go back to work.
ReplyDeletePs: I love your work! Any tips for newborn photos taken by mom? I'm definitely struggling getting her into position or good lighting conditions on the fly.
Take every single moment you can to hold and love on that baby...she's gonna grow up in a nanosecond. It will go SO fast. Laundry, dishes, dirt and such will still be there. But it's hard to snuggle a ten year old! And take more pictures of her little features...you'll cherish them in years to come!!! Enjoy! Heather, mom of three girls
ReplyDeleteAnother regular reader who is loving the baby posts!
ReplyDeleteMy advice, for what it's worth, is to spend at least the first 3 months listening to what both you and your baby need and going with it. Don't worry about routines and sleeping and all that - they call it the 4th trimester for a reason.
And don't listen to what anyone else says about their babies - it's all lies! They are NOT sleeping through the night, composing their first concerto or any of that.
I'd agree with all the others who said get out and about. At this age babies are very portable, and I found interacting with other adults key to maintaining my sanity when the sleep deprivation was at its worst.
Pure blessedness! My children (14 and 21) love when my husband and I reminisce about the different things they did and said since the time they were born. We have repeatedly spoken of precious moments and milestones, but I wish I also had a written record for them. That's what I would do differently, record those moments in writing. Some we have on video and in photos, but much of the funny, cuteness was just everyday living sort of stuff. She will amaze you! Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteI am thankful I had the opportunity to be a stay-at-home Mom. I realize not everyone has that option. I was able to make a switch and work in the evenings for the first six years of raising our firstborn. We had to make a financial adjustment since it was an entirely different position, but it was so worth it. God Bless You and Your Precious Family!
Just enjoy it! My son is now 17 months old, already I can barely remember those first few months as they go by so quickly! So just immerse yourself in it - as you are doing!
ReplyDelete17 months on I now have a lovely balance (I think) I enjoy my son and watching him grow, but I am also back to enjoying my other hobbies, like sewing and reading blogs.
♥♥♥
She's darling!! * Oh, the first month fog... * Sleep, drink a lot of water, cuddle her, enjoy that newborn baby smell, figure out breastfeeding if you're doing that (if you can make it the first month, you'll be fine), sing and read to her, sleep some more and never forget that no matter what advice you're given {throughout her life}, you're the best mother she'll ever have...God chose YOU to be her mama. Blessings!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your new baby! My advice, and I am sure you'll get this is a lot, is to write down everything! (Having a blog will really help with that!) it is so easy to forget all of the little things
ReplyDeleteBlah, where did my first comment go? Just wanted to say your baby is very lovely and sweet and beautiful. Really she is one of the most beautiful babies I've ever seen. I'm a reader from faraway Finland. I love your blog, and I don't mind the baby posts. She's really gorgeous :)
ReplyDeletesleep when she sleeps, it works WONDERS!!!!
ReplyDeleteWith 4 grown children of our own, I can celebrate with you as you begin this journey of the heart. It will be like NO other you have ever been on, none like you could have ever expected.
ReplyDeleteRemember just a few things: well, maybe 4. ;)
~Keep your life simple. Less stuff, commitments, and outside pulling of your time will keep you close to home where you want to be.
~ She will grow up at the speed of light! (or so it seems). So take heed, and re-read my first suggestion.
~Love and respect her Daddy deeply, and let him love and care for you, passionately
How you two treat each other is the blueprint for what your baby girl will one day look for in her relationships. Which leads me to my 4th and final suggestion.
~ Spend time together without her. Yes, without her. Find a trustworthy sitter/family member whom you can rely on to push you out that front door for, couple time. If you have taken suggestion 1 seriously, and learn early to practice it, you will need and be renewed by suggestion 4. ;)
Hugs From My Heart
My oldest son returned to his freshman year of college after being home for five weeks for the holidays. For some reason it is harder this time because I know how quiet the house will be. He is happy and loving school so who could ask for more? Don't stop obsessing because before you know it they are off on the new adventures you have been preparing them for.
ReplyDeleteGo ahead and enjoy this special time! When you're feeling up to it, meeting up with a friend or two to unwind and catch up on the outside world :)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations again on your bundle of joy!
I am also a new mom. I recently tried to get my 4 month old daughter on some sort of schedule. It didn't work and I started reading books on what to do. (Note, the only book I ever read while pregnant was What to Expect When You're Expecting and I stayed away from the internet.) My conclusion... throw out the books and let my daughter lead the way. I went back to just putting her down every couple of hours when she was tired and I can already tell she is sleeping better and happier. I've realized you can't force things, so don't try to. And now I'm enjoying motherhood more than ever. I'm "one of those people" too. :) Another thing I wish I would have done differently... I was so consumed with my daughter at the beginning that I forgot to take pictures. Take lots of pictures. Enjoy and congratulations!
ReplyDeleteI love baby posts too, ad I would be/do exactly the same. I'm sure its an incredibly amazing time! what a blessing! congrats!
ReplyDeleteCongrats, she's beautiful! Others have mentioned it, bit I'll say it again. Go out with her and meet up with other moms. Its so important to have a support group of other women. I miss walking arround with my now 13 month old in the sling as she slept or watched the world go by.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing I did was slowly get back into work. I went back part time at first to ease the transition and it made all the difference. I have friends who took a longer maternity leave and then had to go straight back to full time and it was HARD. Other than that, just soak up every precious moment and be sure to get photos and videos so you can remember it all later cause it goes by sooo fast.
ReplyDeleteShe is beautiful! Mine just turned 2. I was in a fog for the first six months. Feels like yesterday! Enjoy how your life has changed. It's comparable to nothing.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy every minute and every minute from this point on. She's going to change and grow so fast so let yourself be enthralled. You will never be the same but your interests will return and new ones will pop up. Just process and deal with this time however you want because it only happens once. You will find a new you on the other side. Congrats!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, CONGRATULATIONS! She is beautiful! I just had a baby in 2011, which explains why I didn't know you were expecting! As a new parent, my blog reading suffered - ha! Anyway, love love love the nursery, her name...it's all beautiful!
ReplyDeleteAs for advice, a few game changers for me...Babywise, the book. It worked for us. We both slept and were better people for it!
Secondly, we hired a nanny at 3 months. We went back to our home in the British Virgin Islands when our little baby was about 2 months, and I went from having family 20 miles away to 2,000 miles away. I went almost three straight weeks without being separated from my baby...not a single grocery run, or anything. It was time to get a few hours away, here and there. It was good for my soul - to have a moment to breathe, collect my thoughts, and think about something other than baby.
I'm afraid to put these thoughts in the "advice" column, because everyone is so different. Just follow your gut and don't apologize for doing things "your way." Your way is the right way. So, maybe that's my advice: OWN IT. BE CONFIDENT. YOU MADE THIS BEAUTIFUL BABY, AND YOU KNOW WHAT IS BEST!
Well, first of all....she is so perfect!! I have a 16 month old baby girl, and I still don't feel like I am out of that "baby admiring phase". To be quite honest, I don't know that I will ever be. I feel like the moment I held her, EVERYTHING shifted for me.
ReplyDeleteAs far as advice goes...You just need to know that you are so equipped to take care of her every need, and you should trust your instincts. Don't sress....its so not worth it. Also, I think becoming a mommy makes you feel so empowered and beautiful in its own way....bask in that! :) My husband and I would just laugh at the fact that we would just sit there and stare at her for hours on in. I don't regret it. Nobody told me how quickly the "baby baby phase" goes by. When Amara got to be about 9 months, she started really having a mind of her own. I miss the baby cuddles so much, and the fact that we could just lay in bed together for as long as we wanted. It sounds like you are already trying to soak it all up. I love your blog, and am so happy for your new addition. You have a beautiful family!!
Your little one is adorable! As a mum to three boys now 25, 18 and 17, looking back on that time when my babies were tiny I wish I had enjoyed it more. Don't rush to back to your 'previous life' enjoy the time as much as you can - without guilt! The years will pass so fast as it is - don't wish it upon yourself. And yes maybe you will bore some people, but those who matter will love you for being a beautiful, caring mum.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you slow your pace down to your baby's you can immerse yourself fully in the moment and enjoy and cherish every little thing...because really they are the things that matter. xxx
It's ok to just spend hours staring at her. Do it now, because very soon she will be running around won't sit still long enough to get a good look at her. Spend as much time as possible just holding her and studying her fingers and shapes of her mouth and eyes. You'll be happy you did and all those things on your to do list really don't matter all that much. You can never get this time back. Enjoy every minute!
ReplyDeleteI too am a working mom who had only 12 very short weeks of maternity leave...just soak it all up. Every second. My son is 8 months old now and I miss my maternity leave every day. Of course there were times when I was overwhelmed or felt like I should be back to "normal" by x weeks, but really, that time is so short. So cliche, but so true. Enjoy the milk drunk, baby sleeping on you, time. It. goes. so. fast.
ReplyDeleteI don't regret those blog posts I didn't write, but I wish I could have squeezed in a few more snuggles.
It really is such a special time and they grow so fast that you want to hold onto those little coo's and sleepless nights (as crazy as it sounds). And you'll look back at them fondly in a year or two (I know sounds strange again) but you really just enjoy every single moment - even the ones that don't seem so fun. We're expecting our second and I'm really looking forward to bringing our second baby home with us. I know it's going to be different than the first time just in a different more beautiful way. I remember the first few weeks being a huge emotional roller coaster and I remember kind of feeling alone, but then I soon realized that I was not alone at all - I had so much love surrounding me. Enjoy this special time!
ReplyDelete