the 10 things I wish I knew before bringing home a newborn.
1. CALL THE WAH-BULANCE.
You will cry ALL THE TIME FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER. Yea I know you think you are tough and “not a cryer” but it doesn’t matter one iota. Forget the Kleenex, you are going to need super absorbant paper towels, which you carry around all day and all night long because…
2. YOU WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!
Sure, you thought you were mentally prepared for sleep deprivation but the reality of it is way worse than you imagined. You really can’t grasp what true torture it is night after night. You will spend your daytime hours in a zombie like state and your nighttime hours praying to whatever god is listening to please let her sleep just a little bit longer tonight while you…
3. YOU WILL FEEL LIKE YOU WERE HIT BY A TRUCK.
You spent nine months dreading the pain of labor but reassured yourself by saying it was “just one day”. You didn’t think about the aches and pains of recovering from said labor would take a lot longer not to mention the odd things your body will do just to mess with you. You will walk with the gingerly grace of an old woman and mumble “ouch” all day long as you resign yourself to the fact that…
4. YOUR HOUSE IS A DISASTER.
No matter how carefully you prep or what sort of minimalist you think you are right now, your house will look like a Babies R Us bomb went off. Stacks of diapers and clothing and other baby paraphernalia will take over every inch of your living space. You will forever being doing, folding and putting away laundry. You will feel defeated by the mess that is so unavoidable but is also not worth giving up one moment of precious sleep to take care of properly. It’s especially difficult to clean up when you…
5. YOU WILL NEVER PUT HER DOWN!
Something happened to your brain during labor that made you feel like leaving her alone for even a few seconds to use the bathroom is a form of child abuse. This sort of attachment at the hip somewhat explains why…
6. YOUR DAY IS FULL EVEN IF YOU HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING.
Before, you wondered what exactly would you do with an infant all day? After all, how many times a day can you sing nursery rhymes or change a diaper? Surely I would have lots of time to fill her day with stimulating activities, power walks and making healthy family meals. HHAHHAHAHAAHHA (insert evil laugh here). Your day (which just so happens to be extra long, see #2) will fly by in a whirl of rocking, shushing, diaper changes, laundry and do it all over again. The days go by very quickly even when you never leave the house. While you won’t have much time to accomplish your to-do list you have plenty of time to doubt yourself because…
7. EVERYTHING WILL SEEM LIKE A LIFE ALTERING, CRITICALLY IMPORTANT, HUGE DEAL.
Somehow every decision regarding her care – whether big or small – will feel momentous. As if one wrong move will ruin her life forever and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT. No matter how sure of yourself you were before you had a baby, you will temporary lose all perspective for a short while. You turn to your wonderful friends for some advice and realize…
8. YOUR FRIENDS GIVE TERRIBLE ADVICE.
Ok this isn’t entirely true as I did get some great advice but most wasn’t very helpful. This isn’t because my friends aren’t amazing mothers and friends and were genuinely trying to help. It’s because my friends are at least a year (and in some cases a decade) removed from life with a newborn, they don’t recall this insane period in their own life. They tend to say stuff like “I can’t believe how small she is” and “so much has changed since I had a baby”. You will wonder ‘what the heck’ and then you realize….
9. YOU WILL FORGET ALMOST EVERYTHING FROM THIS TIME.
Trust me, the month will come and go you will have a giant black hole where normal memories live. No matter how good of a memory you think you have, it will all be gone! Some highlights may remain but the low points all smooth out so you barely remember the anxiety, depression, stress and pain you felt. Mother nature is smart that way! Further proof of that is just just when you think you can’t take it anymore…
10. EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!
What seems so overwhelming right now is not only going to be better, it will be mostly a hazy memory in just a few short weeks. She will sleep through the night, you will be able to diaper one handed, her cries won’t send you into a panic, you will feel like yourself and you will have confidence in your parenting! What follows that first crazy month is be the most amazing period where this tiny person’s smiles will fill you with an exquisite happiness you never knew existed.
So there you have it. The whirlwind that was the first month was pretty intense but became a lot more amazing soon afterward. For those of you with kids, did you have the same experience? For those of you who are about to join the mommy ranks, was this helpful at all?
The next baby related post I’m planning is all about the MOST USELESS BABY BUYS which I hope will be helpful but if there is something you want to hear about, please let me know.
Totally useful! I have to admit, I'm much more afraid of all this after part than the actual labor part! Especially the "ouch" parts and the sleepless parts!
ReplyDeleteI hope my post didn't come off as too much of a complaint - its really the most amazing thing you will go through and the bad stuff is nothing compared to the good. I just wish I was better prepared for it is all.
DeleteAMEN, so, so true! The only thing I have to add is that it gets a little bit more complicated as they get older:
ReplyDeletehaving to make sure absolutely nothing is on the floor or within their reach when they start to walk/stand up. No more alone time in the bathroom as the little ones follow you in, along with the dog! When they learn to talk, they will put up a fight to not go to sleep. I have become an ESPN mom, between dropping them off at school, driving off to work, coming home to get a quick bite to eat and then off to some sort of sport, then showers, doing laundry, reading their school stuff (tons of it) and then homework. My agenda is based off of their daily activities. My house is always a mess even after I've spent hours cleaning it.
Yes, moms are TRULY AMAZING!!!
Im sure once she is on the move it will be a lot more work but I think its just the overwhelming mix of the hormones, my body healing, the lack of sleep those first few weeks threw me for a loop.
DeleteLet me tell you, the sleep deprivation doesn't leave. LOL I have three children... 25, 15 and 6. The oldest is out on her own, and yet, you still worry like crazy. 15 yr old entered high school this year. You worry about her when she is out with her friends and can't go to bed until she is home. My 6 yr old, he is still little yet that he doesn't go very far. I still hear every little noise or them getting up in the middle of the night. Mom's sleep with one ear open. My house was the cleanest before kids. It wasn't so bad when it was just the girls. Add in that crazy ball of energy came and it was over. LOL He whirls through leaving quite a wake in his path. LOL I wouldn't worry about the messy house too much. I would just enjoy your time with her because each phase goes by so quickly. You are going to blink and wonder where the time went.
ReplyDeleteAs for all the baby things, most aren't needed. There are so many things out today that weren't around way back when. I started over 3 times.. hubby didn't want to keep all of it. He's the if it happens it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I didn't go and get the newest gadgets and seats, etc. Thinking back to all the things that have come out since my first was born.. I am so glad they came out with the no spill treat cup for the little ones to put their Cheerios and fish crackers so that they can't dump them out. No need to spend more than you have to. Baby things are so expensive as it is.
Im definitely with you on the quality of sleep never being the same but now that she is sleeping through the night, its just a whole fresh take on life.
Deletehahaha Fantastic post. I have a newbie myself. He is 4 1/2 months. I can not remember what it's like to sleep and he's a good sleeper lol !!!
ReplyDeleteWell said! Our baby was 7 weeks early so she didn't sleep through the night until she was almost five months old! The night I had a huge breakdown with lots of tears, she slept. The lack of sleep almost did me in. That was 7 years ago and I will never forget that part:)
ReplyDeleteOh wow - that must have been tough. We really worked on getting her to STTN because it was huge for me to be able to return to work and I knew I was running out of time. (She isnt a fan of sleeping or naps naturally). If she hadnt started sleeping more last month I might have went a little nuts :)
DeleteYES YES & YES!!! Girl, you are so spot on.
ReplyDeleteNoone tells you how it really is! I thought no prob, I like being busy & have always functioned on 5 hrs of sleep or less--but newborns are a whole other level of sleep deprivation. The days FLY by yet sort of all run together to the point, I'm all "Did yesterday end yet?" Our house looked like squatters had moved in, which gave this OCD clean freak the sads.
I must agree it DOES get SO much better & parental amnesia kicks in. The days don't get any less crazy (they crawl, then walk, then run, drop naps, then throw tantrums b/c they want to wear socks on their hands instead of their feet, oy).....I think we just get more efficient at managing things/tolerating things. And they get more fun & the love just grows! Plus our wee ones do eventually SLEEP better, which makes all the difference.
Hey!!! Want to do a post of things you shouldn't say to a new parent unless you want to get punched in the face? ENJOY THIS, THEY GROW UP SO FAST. MY BABY SLEPT THRU THE NIGHT FROM DAY 1. MY BABY JUST NAPPED FOR 4 HOURS. MY HOUSE IS CLEAN, I SHOWERED & READ A BOOK, & MADE A GOURMET DINNER, HOW WAS YOUR DAY? =]
P.S. I hope your return to work this week is going as best as possible, been thinking of you.
yes! please do a post of things you shouldn't say to a new parent!
Delete"sleep when the baby sleeps." most annoying advice i was repeatedly given.
also "i just couldn't bear to [fill in the blank] but i guess if it works for you..." judge-y mommy advice.
love this post.
Oddly enough I haven't had that many rude things said to me. At least not yet!
Deleteha! so true.
ReplyDeleteOne more though: you will never go to the toilet alone again! I could guarantee as soon as I zipped off to the loo, she'd cry, so I'd bring her in the moses basket and her. Not much different now. She's 6 and the only time I get actual privacy is when she's at school!
gorgeous little girl you have there.
ha! I do go to the toilet alone now but thats only because Agatha doesn't mind a little independent play.
Deletewell timed post - i have 2 months left until my due date. i know that i will never be fully prepared, but it's nice to hear some "real life" experiences. looking forward to your post on useless baby buys. every time i buy something that i "need" or receive a gift, i put it in the (small) baby room and start to panic about the lack of space... do babies really need this much stuff??
ReplyDeleteI hate to say this because I was totally of the mindset that you dont need that much (afterall, we went thousands of years without all of it!) but the reality is that a lot of these extra things just make life easier. And what is wrong with that? The real quandry is which of these pieces of junk will make YOUR life easier isn't so obvious. Some items that people told me I MUST HAVE were complete wastes and some things I had to run out and buy more of. Thus my most useless baby item post coming up but I bet a lot of people will disagree with my list. Its a very personal thing.
DeleteI have 10 month old twins that still won't sleep through the night so I can identify with all of this, except the crying, never shed a single tear over my sleepless, overworked misery. I did grind my teeth and sleep with a clenched jaw though!
ReplyDeleteOh I wasn't crying because if the sleep or any other real issue - it was entirely the hormones! I would start crying for no reason at all and would go off all day long. Extremely weird for someone like me who doesn't cry much and certainly never had uncontrollable emotional outbursts! But after a few weeks, my brain chemistry got back on line and I was semi normal again ;)
DeleteYes, this sounds about right to me - even though my baby is n ow 20 yrs old. I remember feeling like someone had taken my world, tossed it in a mixer on high then threw it all back out on my head. And STILL, I can smile & am very happy with how I spent my life so far.
ReplyDeleteI guess I didn't find this post helpful in that I feel like that's ALL I hear from parents. "You have no idea what you're in for." / "It's so hard, you're never sleep/shower/have a clean house/have sex again, etc." Maybe the people talking to me are just all brutally honest. In any case, I have 7 weeks left to go and I'd much rather have helpful advice like "rub nipple cream on a few weeks before you deliver so they soften up and don't get chapped and cracked" or gentle encouragement "it's hard, but people do it every day and you will get through the rough bits just fine." rather than the constant negativity.
ReplyDeleteHow about this...there is an adjustment period, as there is with ALL life changes. Then one day you wake up and think, when did life get easy? I have two boys, 16 months and 4 days apart, and to be honest, the first 4 1/2 months with two kids were hard. But I always thought, I'm not the first person to do this, and I won't be the last. Then one day last summer I loaded us all into the car for a day out and about and thought, "When did this get so easy?" I didn't need diapers (they were 3 and 2), sippy cups, special snacks, a stroller. It goes by so quickly that the tough days vanish and all you remember is how amazing your life has become.
DeleteJen, it really is that tough, for a little while, but it is also the most amazing, exciting, loving time you will ever know. Your life is filled with love, it's everywhere - love for your new child, love for your partner, their love for your baby, the love from your family and friends, given to both you and your bub. It's precious. My useful advice (I have a 4 m.o.)? Cook up some food for quick and easy dinners and freeze it (we had around 50 meals and are still going through them.) Get yourself some comfortable nursing tanks, you will live in them at first. Singletsuits (singlet onsies) are the best, as they dont ride up. Practise folding and unfolding your stroller, so you aren't just learning to use it with a new bub. Even though you probably feel enormous and uncomfortable right now, make sure you get some photos of just you, and also you and your partner. Being pregnant is such a precious time (even though it pretty tough too!), and you want to remember it. I hope this is helpful.
DeleteThanks for your comments but I dont think my posts would be considered constantly negative. I really didn't mean to be negative at all - I was sharing the part of my experience that surprised me the most. Maybe I just have a different set of friends than you because no one really told me this stuff beforehand. At least not in a way that hit home for me. Maybe you have heard it all before.
DeleteThat said, Im just referring to the first few weeks. As I said in my last point you will absolutely sleep and be back to yourself again in such a short period of time.
Really? You don't think "YOU WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!" sounds negative? Or could be pretty discouraging to a new mom? I don't honestly think that most new moms go into motherhood thinking that their sleep habits will stay remotely the same, especially in the short term. I'm not saying that there is no place for a "reality check" when embarking on motherhood, but I'm not sure that all-caps-exclamation-point statements directed towards women at one of the more emotionally vulnerable times in their lives is the most sensitive/effective way to get that across.
DeleteOf course you are entitled to your opinion but I don't think a few statements in a single post discussing how I felt during the first few weeks would define me as "constantly negative". Not everyone will have that experience but I did but there would be no way to share my experience without conveying how overwhelming it felt at times.
DeleteI still think that if you read the entire list, its not negative overall. The newborn phase is so quickly over and you forget it all that its hardly a big deal in the scheme of things. If I had known that going in, the whole thing would have been a lot easier for me. Thus the reason for my post.
As for the emotional vulnerability of pregnant women - I simply don't assume that all are in such a fragile state that they can't read this without being scarred. But thats just my opinion. I'd love to hear your version of what you would have liked to know before having a baby as well - perhaps your list will be more helpful.
Oy vey! It's an informative post sharing one woman's personal experience in a lighthearted and humourous, but truthful manner. Are you really coming here to read because you're looking for a virtual gentle hug? Goodness, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. And not that sister needs anyone to rush to her defense, but come on?! Calm it on down now.
DeleteSorry to be a White Knight but every single one of the points made in this post are true... at least for me, and I'm sure many, many other new moms. My son, Charlie is 15 months old as of today, and let me tell you, it's still work getting him to sleep at night. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones whose baby sleeps soundly in their crib from the first night home. (Ha! I wish!) Maybe you're equipped with nipples of steal and your baby will breast feed like a champ. (Not me!) Maybe they'll take naps at the exact time that you'd like to take a shower. (Shower? What's a shower?) Maybe you'll have REALLY good shoulder muscles and you won't feel like you got run over by a MACK truck from holding them 24/7 for the first week.(Nope, again!)
DeleteThe point is that it is hard. REALLY hard, for some people. BUT, those memories will fade away. You'll still remember praying for your newborn to sleep, or begging out loud "for the love of God, and all things holy, please just latch on!" But the baby tornado that sweeps you up off your feet, flips you upside down, and slams you back to the ground will pass, and the sun will shine again. And a few weeks in, you'll just be laying on the couch with your little boo boo on your chest and they pop their head up and look you in the eyes (the experience you didn't get to have when they were born because they were on the other side of a blue sheet being pulled out of you) you will fall so deeply in love and cry the happiest tears. And that moment will make all those hard times worthwhile.
I know this is late to reply to your reply - I didn't mean you were constantly negative, not at all! If I thought you were a constant source of negativity, I wouldn't love and read your blog so much. :)
DeleteI meant the moms I meet in real life, ones on the web, etc - seems to have a fairly negative vibe when it comes to doling out advice for future-moms. I didn't think this post was even that negative and I get the overall positive intention after talking about things you wish people had told you. I just meant that maybe you have nicer friends, because all I was being told by people I know is negative stuff.
You said this all so perfectly! I have a 5 month old and thought, "Why didn't anyone tell me how hard those first 6 weeks are!" It has gotten much better and I will soon be one of those parents that those first few months were just a blip.
ReplyDeleteI am not a mom myself (yet) but I feel like this post seems sincere and true. I appreciate you being honest about what your days really are like and that having a baby really is such a life change. Thank you!
ReplyDelete- Jaime
www.southonbroadway.blogspot.com
I keep saying that I don't remember the entire first month of our daughter's life (she is 10 mo now). Glad I am not alone!
ReplyDeleteThis whole post gave me a panic attack. ;)
ReplyDeleteNothing to panic about - it was just a little shock to my system. Whats a few weeks in the scheme of things? And there are so many awesome things that go with the bad - I just knew about those before :)
DeleteI have never commented before, but this struck a chord with me! My baby was born 12/28 and we are still in the thick of all this. He still isn't sleeping well at night (or at all during the day) and I am averaging about 4 hours of sleep per night in two 2 hour stretches. I was just lamenting yesterday that the worst part is that I have already forgotten so much. It has been a total blur! Sleep deprivation aside, the biggest struggle for me is the house being a mess. I am a neat freak and looking at the mess causes me so much stress. Everyone keeps telling me to "let it go" but I really don't know how to do that! Ha. Is it all worth it? Of course! But in the meantime it's kicking my butt!
ReplyDeleteOh wow - poor mommy! I totally know how you feel - I was a mess when I wasn't sleeping at night. She still doesn't sleep during the day but baby steps. Hope your little one gets more sleepy very soon!
DeleteUmmm...YES! Truer words have never been spoken. All the things that no one ever warns you about! I love this post SOOOOOO much!!
ReplyDeleteI remember thinking, "THIS is why human rights commissions consider sleep deprivation a torture method!" Thankfully it does pass and becomes a mixture of anecdotes and memories. Some of the items were less true with baby #2, as I definitely didn't feel that every choice or decision would ruin baby #2's future. I didn't enjoy that feeling at all with #1, so it was a relief when it didn't come back with the second baby.
ReplyDeleteWe are actually beginning to start seriously thinking about getting pregnant and I am pinning this so I will read it when it's my turn! Hilariously written, and it sounds like it will ring true for most moms. I'm also looking forward to the "useless" list!!
ReplyDeleteThis is SO TRUE! I have a 4.5 month old son and it is crazy how I can tell that I will quickly "forget" how chaotic and exhausting those first few months are. We just got him sleeping through the night this week which helps lift the fog during the day. Love the baby posts!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on STTN! The minute that starts happening, the whole family is so much happier!
DeleteThis is all so true! I love the way your wrote it out. I would expand on the last one by saying that things are always changing, and whenever times get difficult and you think you can't take it any longer, one day you wake up and it's ok. For instance, I remember times where my daughter slept extra restlessly for days on end and I thought I was going to die from lack of sleep! And then bam, a tooth popped through and she was her normal self again. Not only does being a parent gives us many chances to increase in patience, I think it helps us have more empathy. That said, I highly recommend asking for help/accepting help when you need it . Okay, that wasn't a rambling response AT ALL. Hope you continue to enjoy your little one!
ReplyDeletethis is great. ALL THE THINGS YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIENDS WITH KIDS HAD TOLD YOU. GRRR. I still think about all these things as #2 is on the way. My daughter is almost 3... and phew my husband and I laugh because it really was a hell of a ride. nothing can prepare you for it and you cry because you want to get off, but it's forever and then you cry more. then things settle and you wouldn't trade it for a thing. just tonight i rocked my little girl and read her a story and asked her to please stay small :) she nodded and i cried.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this timely post. I've had a rough few days with my three-week old. This was a good (and comical) reminder that it's all gonna be okay. But for right now...I just want to sleep.
ReplyDelete4-8 you just killed me with! so so so so true for us! i got to skip over the weepiness luckily, but i think that's because karma gave me a fair exchange for all the vomiting i did the first 5 months of pregnancy. xo
ReplyDeleteIt really will be fine - Our babies can buckle themselves in and get their own cereal - Oh how I rejoiced when I realized how far we had come! (With much gratefulness to my friends and family for their support!)
ReplyDeleteI think the most important one you have on the list is #10. Because, truly, it WILL be fine. I think that was my biggest realization - and the thing I told everyone that had a baby in the year or two after I had mine. You just have to GET THROUGH those first few weeks - literally day by day - moment by moment. And JUST when you think that whatever super ridiculous torture habit your baby has developed (like, staying awake for 20 hours at a time. . .) is the new permanent state of your life and you're starting to fantasize about checking into a hospital. . . it changes again - and it gets better. It really does. You can let everything EXCEPT feeding and cleaning your baby slide. Let it all go.
ReplyDeleteIt can get bad - don't feel guilty because you aren't enjoying the torture - it WILL get better!
Great post!! I'm 22 weeks and love reading your baby posts, can't wait until the next one :)
ReplyDeleteThis a great post not only for those expecting, but for those of us living child free. It's hard to know what our friends and family are going through in those first few weeks/months. This will definitely help me know better how to lend support! Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI'm 38 weeks with # 3...and I think this is such a great reminder. = )
ReplyDeleteHugs to you in this crazy newborn time!
I am 7 months into motherhood and when soon to be new parents or new parents ask me about sleep, I'm brutally honest. I tell them you won't get it and it will suck more than you can possibly ever imagine. Then one day you wake up after having slept 5 WHOLE HOURS and life is all unicorns and rainbows again.
ReplyDeleteI think the part I was unprepared for was sending your child to daycare at 2 months and discovering all the time you will need to take off with a sick baby. The first few months of daycare were rough! I have to say, this country's maternity leave is awful! 6 weeks is not enough! And to be unpaid for any longer is impossible for many. For some reason, this never entered my brain while pregnant.
ReplyDeleteHow I wish I had had these words or truth to read before I had my son. I'm 4 years away from it but sometimes I feel like it was just yesterday. As I read this post it brought it all rushing back. A must read for all new moms out there.
ReplyDeleteYes, this is all very true! I def feel like I'm still going through most of these, and my youngest (of three) is two. I remember one of the biggest challenges for me being that dinner is never the same. It's nearly impossible to sit down and have a calm dinner with your husband. It still doesn't happen:)
ReplyDeleteIve been very lucky in that she is more than happy to play by herself for a little while. So while our dinners aren't quite as relaxing as they once were, we definitely can eat together and enjoy. Who knows how that will change once she is eating solid foods but I'm hoping her temperament doesn't change too much :)
DeleteWell I just read your post and I started laughing reading every little point you made. My eldest is 9 and I can actually relate to everything you are saying. The one that got me was the sleep depprevation after all. I remember one night lying in bed (in Melbourne's cold winter) at 2am feeding my son while watching the most ricidulous 1 hr info commercials on the bedroom tv to keep awake. Had I half a brain I would have got a tape machine and at least had something to entertain myself during the half an hour breast feed. I distinctly remember watching my then husband (now ex..thank goodness) sleeping and I was laying there thinking if I actually had $1M (I don't and probably never will) but if I did have $1M in the bank at that moment in time I would have paid that much just to get one full nights sleep like I did before baby came home............that's how hungry I was for just one nights sleep...........ahhh to go to bed and know you can just go to sleep until morning (OMG) it's worth it's weight in GOLD. I also do know that people/doctors etc. only prepare you for pregnancy and having the baby whereas it's when the baby comes home there are simply no instructions apart from crying means hungry, windy, tired, wanna burp or fart........... I did go to a "day sleep school" to learn how to get my baby to sleep after about 4 months when he never went to sleep during the day and I would be pushing him in the pram in my lounge room for an hour while I watched Dr Phil on TV. Same in the evenings however the night I came home from sleep school (ie they have qualified people helping you to show you how to get them to sleep and help them settle themselves etc.) I got James to sleep in the evening in 10 mins...I sat there thinking WHY on earth is this not mandatory training/help one month after baby comes home...I had to seek it out. Anyway your post did make me laugh because honestly I don't think we can ever be prepared for that first baby the way our life is turned upside down from a couple to a baby........however the good thing is now that your family is now in kid mode and the 2nd baby (no pressure...I'm just saying) the 2nd baby just fits right in because now you are in family mode, routines, family activities so as much as a shock the first baby is (on a scale of 1 to 10 I would say a 15) however on a scale of 1-10 for the 2nd one....it's an easy 2 as you are actually more prepared, relaxed (even though I was like you...I've read stuff how hard could it be, newborns just eat and sleep so there will be plenty of time to do things).........aaahhh not so but as you say the tremendous amount of JOY a baby brings....money can't buy that either. I totally enjoyed your post.....She is adorable and I love your nursery. Regard Kathy A, Brisbane, Australia
ReplyDeleteAll so very true! I forgot so many baby things between child #1 and child #2 - basic stuff that I should have remembered. And now my daughter is just 6.5mo and I've already forgotten her infant days. I saw my friend's 1mo old baby recently and had already forgotten that my baby was once that size. Isn't motherhood wonderfully insane? :)
ReplyDeleteOh, the sleepless nights. I remember praying. Praying HARD for God to just make him sleep a little longer. I thought if I prayed, prayed, and prayed some more, that he would sleep. Nope! Charlie was over a year old (he turned 1 on January 29th) by the time he slept though the night. Before that he was waking up at least 10 times each night and going through up to FOUR bottles per night. I was pumping and bottle feeding for that whole year, so I would pump just before bed at 10pm and then wake up at 5am to keep my supply going. Pure exhaustion! BUT you do forget about how hard it was.
ReplyDeleteI was a whopping 10 lbs when I was born and my mom pushed me out without any drugs. She said it was insanely hard, but the second I was out she felt incredible and forgot about all the pain. I think that applies to most struggles in parenthood. Once the hard part is over, it all seems less difficult in retrospect.
This is all SO true! I love the way you write - exactly what I am thinking but of course more eloquent.
ReplyDeleteJust had to reiterate, this is all SO true! I have a two-year-old, and I'm due with my second boy in two weeks. To those who commented to say that the post is negative, sorry, it's the reality of those first few weeks! And, as Mrs. Limestone says, there are also so many wonderful parts. It is just incomprehensibly hard. Having done labor & delivery and the post-partum time once before, I would be happy to skip to when this new guy will be six weeks old. And that is because I am so, so, so excited and happy to hold him and meet him!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is the best ost I've read about new parenting. Everything is spot on. #7? Too funny and true. I agonize over the silliest little things because I don't want to ruin Henry for life. And I would add that you will wonder if anyone else loves their kids as much as you love yours. Or maybe that is just me. Since having Henry, I find myself thinking about this a lot. Like, how can anyone love their babies as much as I love Henry.
ReplyDeleteMy baby girl is 17 months old and all of this is totally true! You will get to sleep again!
ReplyDeleteI cabn't wait to read your MOST USELESS BABY BUYS list...I am expecting in September and have attempted to make a damn registry 3 times!!! We walk into a Baby Store look around for a few minutes and leave...ha! I just don't know where to start!!!
ReplyDeleteSo...so ... SOOOO true! :) My little man is now days shy of 6 months old. And although he is #2...that first month or so seems hazey. It all passes. And the one peice of advice that I have received over the last couple of years that always holds true: Babies - just when you think you have it figured out, they change!! Oh and this also applies to kids in general (I have 13 and 10 yr old bonus kids). Enjoy it though. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely going to keep this around for later-- I've always been surprised that with all the pregnancy information out there, there isn't as much talk about "after" pregnancy (i.e., the newborn haze you had). Of course, I'm still a few years away from all that. Thanks for the honest account of your experience!
ReplyDeleteErin
great list! i'm expecting in December and this whole baby thing is still a mystery. I would love to know the MUST HAVEs and the USELESS baby things you need, especially for the first few months. From large items in the baby room to the small little things would be of great help.
ReplyDeleteI have 5 little (and not-so-little) ones and with each one I've had the thought "what do I do with a newborn?" You truly cannot hold onto details in that hazy sleep-deprived state. Now that my youngest is 20 months I just keep hoping he'll stop waking up to eat at 5 am!
ReplyDeleteI have 5 little (and not-so-little) ones and with each one I've had the thought "what do I do with a newborn?" You truly cannot hold onto details in that hazy sleep-deprived state. Now that my youngest is 20 months I just keep hoping he'll stop waking up to eat at 5 am!
ReplyDeleteIt's been 7 years since I had a newborn but all of the things you listed is exactly how I remember it. Especially 1 - 6. Enjoy this time even if it does make you a little nuts! There is nothing better than staring into the face of the sweestest thing you've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteOMG!!! that was hilarious. The only advice I could give is record everything if you can and cherish every moment you have. The house will eventually will get cleaned and you will eventually begin to feel better. Take help if offered, even if its long enough for you to take a shower. Take it!!! The first year is the hardest after that its cake :)
ReplyDeleteOMG!!! that was hilarious. The only advice I could give is record everything if you can and cherish every moment you have. The house will eventually will get cleaned and you will eventually begin to feel better. Take help if offered, even if its long enough for you to take a shower. Take it!!! The first year is the hardest after that its cake :)
ReplyDeleteI love this post - I had my son 6.5 months ago and there is a black hole in my memory the first 6-8 weeks. All I remember is that he nursed for 2 hours, and then half an hour later I would have to turn around and nurse him again! He was one slow eater who would fall asleep in the middle! The feedings gradually became one hour and then 30 min and then 10 min and now he drinks milk from a bottle holding it himself and trying out veggies! Where does the time go? I want to hold on to these fleeting moments because I am so thankful for this blessing. Every time he looks at me and smiles my heart melts. I am truly scared that these moments will pass by in a fog that will eventually evaporate away...
ReplyDeleteEvery word rings true. I love that you can laugh at yourself and some of the up's and downs of being a mum. My son is now 3&1/2 and only started sleeping throught the night 1 month before his 3rd birthday. Due in the most part to an undiagnosed dairy intollerance. Of course you WILL sleep again, but in those sleep deprived times, it doesn't feel like it. I remember thinking, I know people say it gets easier, but will I loose my mind before then? I was trying so hard to be a wonderful mum, that I often ran myself into the ground. Due to a number of phsical issues with both baby and myself I was unable to breastfeed, and so decided to "express feed" my son. When he WAS sleeping, I was breast pumping. ALL DAY AND NIGHT LONG, to get him that precious milk and establish a supply. I was surviving on a few hours of broken sleep. I learnt some valuable lessons along the way. To be kinder to myself and cut myself some slack. Sometimes it's OK to take the path of least resistance. You do what you need to do for your baby and yourself. Everyone's journey is different. I hope that next time around, I will be wiser, I will ask for more help, I will be more relaxed and I will make life easier for myself. I look at my son now and think, he is one of the coolest people I know. I am so lucky that he is in my life. I am lucky that every day, I get to help him become more of "himself". Even if sometimes that means we disagree or lock horns, it's ok, he is his own person with his own ideas. And until he can know enough of the world to make wise descisions, I will keep him safe. Even when he doesn't like it! He has taught me so much about myself, which is one of the things you don't quite expect. Parenthood reveals your strenghts and weakness to yourself in a way that not alot of other things can. I am so grateful for this journey, the good days and the bad. There are always new challenges and things are constantly changing, the good news is that we adapt and get better equipped at handling those challenges and day to day life begins to feel easier.
ReplyDeleteMy theory is that you forget everything because you're so sleep deprived. It took me a year the second time around to have enough sleep to regain my short term memory!
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely spot on. I remember being so shocked and pissed that none of my friends ever told me the truth about those first months and how hard they are. The sleep deprivation is a killer. After the first two months, I began to dread nighttime because I knew it would be at least 8 wakings and hours spent getting him back to sleep. And we completely over-parented, which is sorta funny looking back. Lord, I hope we're way more chill if we're blessed enough to have a second baby. But I love that you are telling it like it is. I have to think it would be easier to be a first time mother if you're lucky enough to have some honest preparation.
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